Money Tip 008: Women, we are not a niche. Rise Up and Shine.
Nothing in this post is a recommendation.
“I’d love to meet with you today, but only if you’re meeting from a place of empowered pleasure.” - Sabrina Vedete
“The gender stereotypes introduced in childhood are reinforced throughout our lives and become self-fulfilling prophesies. Most leadership positions are held by men, so women don't expect to achieve them, and that becomes one of the reasons they don't.”
― Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
Sabrina said it best. And Sheryl said it second best. The choices we make in life matter a lot as women, and how we are choosing them is going to decide how they play out. We need to realize what is on the table for each of us (anything is possible but not everything so you must choose), what we really want, and which choices will allow us to thrive in our lives and feel all the feels.
When I think about the choice between being a mom, killing it at my career, or trying to somehow do both of those things, as well as living in love with a partner; I get tired. But then I always think of my friends who are currently doing all of the above. The reality is, they’re way more tired than I am. They talk often about how they feel like they’re letting one side of their lives down - job or kids. I have recently discovered how strange the term work/life balance is. It is like… wait? I’m not alive when I am at work? Why are these separated? Shouldn’t work be a huge aspect of my life? Can’t they all go together? When they didn’t, is that why I felt dead? Is purpose the key to finding work that feels like love?
Back to the point. When I hear my friends crying out about balancing work and kids, I notice how they don’t mention their husbands. Specifically how they are letting them down. And that’s the scariest for me of all. Because that is your pleasure partner in life! And pleasure, whether it is the deepest sacred bond with your person or staring at a beautiful tree to recharge and notice how we are nature, matters to our happiness and success in our daily lives.
The messaging and conditioning I receive often is that if I finally do ever meet my guy…I might lose him…to my own need for accomplishments and that is just part of the bargain. Errrr. Hold the phone and no thanks. Maybe the message is that the person I choose to partner up with is a decision to not take too lightly. And that’s why I am the age I am and not married yet.
I think that healthy intimate relationships need to be a priority in life, right behind cultivating self love. You can't really get to lasting love with another without love for self. (Read Art of Loving by Erich Fromm for more on this.) The thing is that as adults, we need both of these relationships. Our pleasure, whether we are in partnerships or not, cultivates all the energy in our daily lives. Eastern energy work that millions of people follow has followed this principal for thousands of years. Simple pleasure is ideal as our day starter and ender. It can be with another person or prayer or mediation. But give it to yourself, to succeed. Take note of yourself when you are scrolling on the phone before bed or watching tv and the version of you, who you may have yet to try, who is taking care of their heart and mind and body before bed. Which of those two do you think is thriving throughout the rest of their day and in their dreams at night and in relationships? Correct. It is the woman who takes time for herself, her pleasure, and her lover.
If there is one thing I am sure of, it is that all of our energy starts from our Ching. When I started working with healing my womb and cultivating Ching, it all changed for me. See Diagram below for help to visualize what this looks like. Ching is that the pleasure zone of our lives and bodies as an energy force. We are sensory oriented beings. So to deny that part of our lives over and over again as a martyr often for kids or career, is really foolish. Kids and career benefit when we operate from our pleasure, and take the time to care for ourselves, versus draining the life force. Sabrina Vedete taught me this term “Operating from Empowered Pleasure”. It “fixed” very seemingly broken parts of my mind, body, heart, and unity to this planet. I plan to live by empowered pleasure as a choice maker, since she said it to me. I had been for a while, but didn't realize what it meant until she told me she would only meet with me if I was coming from that place. This knowledge has really changed my perspective to one of choices and how we make them. If we operate from empowered pleasure in all that we do, we can dance ecstatically through life in all of the demands that we allow our journey to place upon us. Solitude, Intimacy, Work, Kids, Hobbies, you name it. Empowered pleasure starts being our guide and life starts getting a lot easier. I thank Sabrina for teaching me this, because I needed to hear it, as you might need to too.
I’m no longer in denial about the fact that when something is special you hold on tight, you treat it with respect, you love it and make sure your love is an action word. My favorite definition of love is “The constant care and consideration for the growth of something.” This makes me think about what I have said that I loved and actually didn’t. And it also makes me feel for my future and what I really love now.
I love the idea of intimacy daily, something I long denied myself, as many women do. I love the idea of a job with purpose that will grow into an effective position in society and help people. And I love the idea of a family of my own. That is what I want to accomplish in this lifetime. But that is a lot! Can I actually have it all?? I think the only way is choosing actions and words through empowered places and knowing that I operate with love (constant care and consideration for the growth of all of these things). When I think about my privilege to have all this as options, I wonder how many women still have no hope for all of this, have had to sacrifice and pave the way for me to be in the position that I sit right now, and how I can change the future for generations of women to follow. I also think about how much I have gone through and worked on myself to get to a place where I actually can live and make choices in my empowered pleasure filled self. It took a lot of work, but it is possible, I now know that for sure. I think the coolest thing is when I see other women who have done the work, and are figuring it all out with female-ness guiding them. And when we find each other and dance into friendship and empower each other. And when men get this and support connecting powerful loving women to each other too.
I have a strange story that I revert back to when I find myself trapped in a life web of trying to decide on how much and what to become and balance. A male friend who has been married for almost 20 years told me, speaking about his wife who he has extra marital affairs on regularly, that he does it because he misses his girlfriend. I genuinely try not to judge anyone, but on cheating in marriage is hard for me. I find it challenging since I am a child who had a father leave my mother for his mistress. Because of this, cheating is not in my DNA. I would never want some kid or anyone to hate me as much as we hated that woman who came into my parents marriage and intimacy. But when my friend explained it in detail, it actually made sense to me. I started to understand more, my dad’s perspective. He explained his theory of why men and many probably an equal amount of women go out and get themselves a girlfriend or boyfriend while still inside of their marriage. They love their spouse. But they miss their girlfriend/boyfriend. She who is now his wife or he who is now the husband. He explained “When I met her, we dated and fell into love. She was my girlfriend. I married my girlfriend. But then she left and she became my wife. And then she became a mom. And she also had a career. So one day I wake up and realized that my girlfriend, the favorite one of all of those things, was long gone. She didn’t have room for the girlfriend. It was too many roles” Ok. Barf a little but shit. Yeah. Makes sense! And let’s be real here…being the girlfriend was probably also her favorite time and role in her relationship as well. It was surely the easiest! (If it wasn’t for you, please send us your secrets to motherhood, career boss, AND wifey role and how you balance it all - to give the ones of us out here petrified of all those titles at once, some hope.) All those roles seems like a lot to juggle and stay…female/happy. It might actaully be unreasonable to ask all of this of modern women, and yet, millions are out here doing it every day. I’d say a lot are actually doing it pretty well. I’m impressed but also in a constant state of wondering how.
It is pretty unnatural for women to have to have all of the roles we carry throughout life, but so many do, and without a ton of help. Can we quantify the cost in any set of metrics? Women’s happiness? Women’s economics? Women’s health? In the sad truth of the US economics for the middle class, the real issue for women is that the majority can’t actually afford to not work while having kids. We pay for it in retirement. We pay for it by not being financially literate or savvy and by leaving our cash in savings account where it doesn’t ear. We pay for it by leaving our jobs because we feel dead and like the mountain is not worth the climb. So, every year, especially in covid, a ton of women DO stop working because their salary is the same cost as a nanny, they really need a break after 10-20 years in the workforce, covid has made it impossible for dual income since one parent must be a home schooler, and for the love of all nature they want to enjoy their little human creations. And I totally get ALL of that. But I also appreciate truth and reality and preparing for the future wisely. In Lean In, Sandberg explains the problem with stopping working. Which is real, ladies. She explains that the real issue is that once women get off the working scale for 3-5 years, and then try to go back, their salary is slashed in half when it could and should have moved up past double or at least 1/3 more. The job isn’t waiting for her and someone else filled it. And at this point in most women’s lives, it’s noticeable that those funds are needed and it was a mistake to step away. If we do leave our jobs to stay home, we really ought to be creating, inventing and thinking bigger than we did inside our “jobs”. That to me is the key. But all of this is the working and modern woman’s conundrum…how much responsibility do we want while staying sane and holding onto the love of life and work and kids and above all, our intimate partners.
If you get smart enough to marry or date a partner that “gets it” (meaning all of that just mentioned) and who also understands the financial metrics around getting off the work force to manage the mother and home making duties, you are one step ahead of the rest. But how much of our duties at home go unpaid for? See first blog on this topic. Ugh. Painful. How many more years must we live in our homes as caretakers without any payment for that work? I say, one needs to be as well read as possible on the topic of financial metrics around women and working before she jumps off that job she worked so hard to attain. Because once you leave it, it’s a lot harder to get back than you’d think and doing household chores often goes unappreciated and unpaid for and can really make a kink in the pleasure routine you were accustomed to as “the girlfriend”. Be reasonable with how much you can handle while remaining happy in life and get really clear on what roles you want in life and what kind of partner you need to make all that work.
For me, like other delusional women who haven’t started a family yet, I want the whole thing. And that is why I choose to wait to do so later in life. I want to be successful at work and participate in the economy and contribute to an industry with expertise, I would love to be a great a wife/girlfriend (yes I aim to be both for the same guy) and I would love to be a mom to some rad humans. But sometimes I wonder at what expense I’m willing to pay for all those roles, not just with money but with my time, that thing that I have very clearly up until now valued above all else. And of course my sleep. How do they do life without sleep?! Is it enough to just be someones partner in life? Do we have to be super successful at work to be valued in society? Do we have to have kids? Do kids really make life worth it or are they a total crap shoot - literally. Is it weird to be a woman who choses not to have kids? In all honestly, not having kids is a more rare experience than having them, but it is still looked down upon. Is having kids the ultimate experience as a woman? Are they the teacher we need to experience for a full life cycle. The key that helps us to remove all those pesky little personality qualms that we hold onto for dear life, before having offspring?
When I think about all the women I admire, many didn’t have kids! I’m not sure they could have with what they accomplished back then. But now, it seems even the most successful women are procreating and in the droves. This list of women runs the gamut of kids to no kids. There is one thing they all have though and that is a combination of intelligence, grit, vision and ambition: Coco Chanel, Cleopatra, Madonna, Amelia Earhart, Gwen Stefani, Maria Merian, Hypatia, Oprah, Lisa Gersh, Hedy Lamar, Erykah Badu, Queen Elizabeth II, Gloria Steinem, Aileen Lee, Rosa Parks, Lucy Stone, Sarojini Naidu, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jane Goodall, Sophie Germain, Marie Curie, Harriet Tubman, Wangari Maathai, Elizabeth Fry, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Malinda Gates, J.K Rowling, Princess Diana, Michelle Obama, Anna Wintour, Malala Yousafzai, Lady Gaga, Lucille Ball, Rihanna, Sallie Krawcheck, Naomi, Vera Rubin, Kate Rubins and soooo many more, especially all the rad chicks on my podcast who are all self actualized in some way. They all seemed to do it in their own way and leave a mark. Some have multiple kids in the process. So why can’t we, as the women of tomorrow, have it all? I think we need to have pleasure and then see what follows. I think when we take off the pressure to become and just live in our power and pleasure and stay empowered, we can stay devoted to what feels right, continuously working really hard, while taking care of ourselves and expanding. That is the way we can manifest just about anything. But this messaging gets lost somewhere. I’m here to help and looking for help.
Women, listen to me, you and we matter. Let’s act like it!! And empower ourselves and each other.
Women are not a niche. We are half of this society and economy. We make up 57.4% of the US workforce and 50.2% of the bachelors degrees. Yet we are paid less than men for every dollar we earn, we are promoted less, we are underfunded in venture, private equity and hedge, we have less C suite rolls and hardly and IPOs, we are still asked to be the overarching caretakers in our homes, asked to financially provide now as well, and we still suffer workplace and domestic abuse daily. Let’s step up to the plate to live fully. That is to demand what is fair and speak up for ourselves from ourselves and others. Let’s create more companies, faster, and better. Let’s get our businesses to IPO and take our share of the markets. Let us lead with female principals and make the world turn in a way that feels nourishing instead of just learning from and then emulating men, when we get to positions of authority. Let’s be SHE and let’s do it our own way that leads with vulnerability, intuition, and awareness.
What I know the deepest is that I want to stay in love with life and continue to cultivate self care and care for others in all that I do. That’s the one thing that I don’t ever want to change about myself. Everything else is up for the taking to be honest. Adding a family and even more responsibility at work to achieve my highest self, seems really like it has to come with the right timing and possibly a few miracles. Finding the right partner to make life stay amazing with through all of this is imperative. Don’t kid yourself that choosing a partner isn’t the most important decision in life; it is. But choosing you, daily, to invest in, work on, and push farther in the direction of your dreams is the number one priority and necessity to becoming a woman who has it all. In order to do all of that, we have to heal, first and foremost. Childhood trauma is ancestral trauma and that is cultural trauma. We ARE traumatized as a gender. We won’t grow if we don’t release the trauma. We deserved and deserve better, we accept that. But we have to have the courage to release what doesn't serve us and get comfy in a place of empowered pleasure for decision making and manifesting.
If we can find friendships, associates, and mates who understand that the pressure on women is too high and the life is too fast it will make our decisions to thrive, while nurturing, all while in the fast lane: much easier. In a good mindset where our self love is real and therefore spreads out onto others, we can produce dreams of all sorts. In this space and container we will also be able to decide what we really want.
We should be allowed to pick and choose in life and we need to know when enough is enough or when to keep striving. We need to take breaks. We need tweaking, reflecting, pivoting, and rest. We deserve this. And this is how we heal as a culture and create systems that reflect our beliefs.
What has life and experience taught you about this topic of how to choose what to create in life? I think it is all about commitment. To commit is to grow and to grow is to live….but how to choose is the modern woman’s plight and what we must overcome. If we do find a way to our decision making from empowered pleasure, we can only go in one direction and that is above and beyond. Be brave this month, Women’s history month. Then let it lead you all year. Give yourself this kind of belief and daily love, if you can, and if you can’t read these blogs and find women to teach you how, like me. This is our nature as women, after all, and what actually grows our dreams right into reality. Choose yourself first, and then decide what else is to follow. Find loving partners. And for all that is holy, make your choices from a place where you have given yourself at least a few moments of divine pleasure. You deserve it, queens. Rise up and Shine.
Please message me on IG at melrosemoney for comments. Maybe will make an IG Live about this, with enough feedback.
Here are some more articles for you on the topic.
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/12/having-it-all/488636/
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/12/opting-out/500018/
https://hbr.org/2002/04/executive-women-and-the-myth-of-having-it-all
Money Tip 007: Racial Equity is the key to Economic Prosperity
Nothing in this post is a recommendation.
Racial Equity should be forefront in working towards mass Economic Success for the US. The time is now.
By 2043, Minorities will be the majority in the US. So it’s a bit shocking to see how much of a disparity there is between average wealth of a white family in comparison to minority families.
“What is frequently overlooked in these disparities is that race is a stronger predictor of wealth than class itself. The 2017 Survey of Consumer Finances indicates that the typical black family has about $17,600 in wealth (inclusive of home equity); in contrast, the typical white family has about $171,000. This amounts to an absolute racial wealth gap where the typical black family owns only ten cents for every dollar owned by the typical white family.
This disparity has endured over time. The racial wealth gap is an inheritance that began with chattel slavery, when blacks were literally the capital assets for a white landowning plantation class. The gap continued after Emancipation, when discriminatory laws and institutions established insurmountable barriers to the American middle class for black families. Today, hundreds of years removed from chattel slavery, there has virtually never been a substantive black middle class when defined by wealth. In contrast, the implementation of FDR’s New Deal and post-war vision facilitated an asset-based white middle class to cumulatively build wealth and pass it on to their heirs.”
Below are some articles that will take you into better understanding of why this all matters, for everyone, not just minorities, for EVERYONE.
https://www.policylink.org/sites/default/files/Equity_Solution_Brief.pdf. Almost all of the quotes in this article come from this research brief. If they are sourced elsewhere, they are numbered.
This is my favorite song about race by the legend Bob Marley. “Until the color of a man’s skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes, me say WAR.”
What Is Racial Equity?
“Racial equity is about applying justice and a little bit of common sense to a system that’s been out of balance. When a system is out of balance, people of color feel the impacts most acutely, but, to be clear, an imbalanced system makes all of us pay.”
It is a bit scary to think that so many mindsets in the United States, and let’s be honest worldwide, are based and created out of fear. But let’s be honest, we all want economic growth. But we are missing out because of systemic racism and fear. Our political system plays primarily on fear, and we all just eat it up. The old sales tactics of the 1950s focused on two ways to sell something; fear and greed. But I notice a new form of advertising taking place and that is one of educating. I like the idea to appeal to a better life and better way of treating people and the planet, instead of scaring or conning someone into buying concepts, products, or services that in the end, really do more damage than good. So when it comes to minorities earning fair wages and advancing in society, it’s sad that so many people won’t vote for change because they fear it affects their own wealth and place in society. The reality is that nothing could be further from the truth. If people are educated and well taken care of, they grow, they learn and they invent. Right now we need all the powerful minds we can create, to solve our world problems. To solve the issues that plague us here in the United States, first and foremost.
“America’s GDP was $15.6 trillion in 2012, but it would have been $17.7 trillion, 14 percent higher, or a $2.1 trillion “equity dividend,” in the absence of racial differences in incomes.
To put this large number into context, the state of California— the eighth largest economy in the world—had an annual GDP of about $2 trillion in 2012.
Raising the average incomes of people in each major racial/ ethnic group to the average incomes of non-Hispanic whites would significantly boost total earnings and purchasing power. Latino incomes would be 74 percent higher (a $16,376 annual raise), Native American incomes would be 71 percent higher
(a $16,076 raise), and African American incomes would be 61 percent higher (a $14,660 raise). The incomes of people with mixed and other racial backgrounds would increase 39 percent ($10,915), while the incomes of Asians (excluding Asian sub- groups whose incomes are above the average incomes of whites) would increase 23 percent ($7,180). In an equitable economy without systematic differences in access to education and good jobs, average incomes overall would be 14 percent higher, increasing from $34,032 to $38,704 per year. “
This is mind bending. The reality is that we should be able to grow poor areas, while maintinaing a middle and upper class. And why would it be so bad if everyone got to middle, or upper class and lived in harmony with exactly what we needed. I dream about a better world, often. One where we don’t let people starve next to where people eat like kings. One where we don’t drain the planet to sell things that we don’t need. I dream that B Coprs take over the markets and the economy isn’t hurting the planet or people anymore. And I dream about something as ridiculous as the pigment of someone’s skin, being no longer a way to manipulate and control masses of people in mass poverty and pain. How much longer do we have to live like this, in the “free” world? We aren’t free. The reality is we are making it so the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Eradicating the middle class. And why? Brain. Wash. We have to start seeing the well being of our brothers and sisters as part of our economy. Only then, will we flourish and grow in an exponential way that heals instead of hurts.
In the article The Economies of America’s 150 Largest Metros Could Grow 24 Percent by Closing Racial Gaps they state that “America’s 150 largest metropolitan regions are home to the vast majority of the nation’s economic activity (80 percent) and population (72 percent). They are also at the vanguard of rising diversity: communities of color are driving population growth in almost all of these metros, and their economic fate hinges on whether Latinos, African Americans, and other diverse groups can participate and thrive.
Because they are home to more diverse populations, America’s largest 150 metros stand to gain much more from racial inclusion: the total gain in these metros is 24 percent, compared with 14 percent for the nation overall. While each of the largest 150 metros would experience economic gains from closing their racial gaps, the amount of these gains range widely, ranging from a low of 2 percent in both Portland, Maine, and Springfield, Missouri, to a high of to 131 percent in Brownsville, Texas. Absolute gains would range from $287 million per year in Springfield to $510 billion per year in Los Angeles. See the Appendix for a table detailing the gains for the largest 150 metros, all 50 states, and the District of Columbia.
The relative size of racial income gaps in metros generally tracks the size of their people of color populations. Portland and Springfield’s populations are more than 90 percent white, for example, while 88 percent of Brownsville’s population is Latino. Every region would reap major economic and social benefits from racial inclusion, but the 29 metros where people of color are already the majority—including most of the California and Texas metros, New York, Washington DC, Miami, Las Vegas, and several Southern regions like Jackson and Memphis—and other regions with diverse populations, would see the largest economic boosts.”
All of this really should really make these cities, the most diverse, really look at their policies, legislation, politics, and what they’re really gaining by holding people of color down instead of lifting up.
Some of the ways to accomplish the uplift is as follows.
“Strengthen education and training pathways to ensure every child can successfully reach a good job and career. Here are just a few of the many ways communities are fortifying these pathways:
—Universal preK—as the city of San Antonio and many other cities and states are striving to achieve for four- and some- times three-year olds—is a proven approach that increases lifetime earnings, boosts high school graduation rates, and decreases incarceration.
—“Cradle-to-career” efforts, like the Promise Neighborhoods Initiative now in more than 50 communities, provide children and families living in low-income neighborhoods with education, health, and social supports from birth to college to career.
—Career academies, and programs like Year Up and Code 2040, provide young people with the work-related skills and paid internships to help them land that essential first job.
—Reforming harsh, “zero tolerance” school discipline policies reduces school pushout for boys of color and keeps them on track to graduate.
—Sector-focused training efforts like Oakland’s EMS Corps and Baltimore’s BioTechnical Institute of Maryland connect people who face barriers to employment with high-quality training programs (often at community colleges) that lead to jobs in growing sectors of the economy, such as health care and technology.16
—Targeted and local hiring strategies, community workforce agreements, community benefits agreements, and construction careers programs ensure local workers can access jobs created through new development.
Conclusion
We hope the data and strategies shared in this brief catalyze new community dialogues about equity and the economy that lead
to action. The need is urgent: demographic change is swift and inevitable, yet most regions and states are not talking about what their demographic destinies suggest for their growth and development strategies. Elected leaders, advocates, business groups, foundations, planners, organizers, and others need to be debating which of the strategies listed above they should explore and advance. A critical first step is to name equitable growth as the goal, and start talking about what challenges they must address and what assets they can leverage to achieve it.
After all, the key question is not if but when. As a nation, we can ameliorate widespread inequality now, or pay the consequences later. Enlightened business and civic leaders are getting the message about the need to prepare for America’s tomorrow. Charting the future with equity as the guiding principle is a smart, bottom-up strategy to transform this country’s broken economic model into a new economy that is strong, resilient, and sustainable.”
Our top-line finding: America’s annual GDP would have been $2.1 trillion higher with racial equity—a 14 percent increase. That’s about the size of California’s economy, the eighth largest in the world.
Drilling down to metros, we found even more dramatic potential gains. The country’s largest 150 regions could collectively grow their GDP by 24 percent by addressing racial inequities, compared with the national gain of 14 percent. Los Angeles stands to gain the most: $510 billion per year. But even the smallest potential gain—in Springfield, Missouri where the population is 91 percent white—is still in the hundreds of millions ($287 million).
In other words, the economic return on racial equity is enormous. What’s more, this “equity dividend”—for people, places, and the nation—will only continue to grow as people of color become the majority.”
All in all, America is becoming a true world nation that is increasingly multiracial and multicultural. In 1980, 80 percent of the population was White. By 2044, a majority of Americans will be people of color. We really need to focus on this racial inclusion and equity as a key stratefy for our economic prospering of this country. Not just for us to thrive but to set the example for all the countries that emulate us, and there are still a ton that do. “After all, the key question is not if but when. As a nation, we can ameliorate widespread inequality now, or pay the consequences later. Enlightened business and civic leaders are getting the message about the need to prepare for America’s tomorrow. Charting the future with equity as the guiding principle is a smart, bottom-up strategy to transform this country’s broken economic model into a new economy that is strong, resilient, and sustainable.
Pull up a quick snapshot of demographic change and equity in your region or state here. Host a community roundtable to discuss demographic change and your community’s economic future using this information, or start with a staff meeting about this topic.
https://nationalequityatlas.org/node/7156
"Given the enormous human costs and economic growth consequences of anemic economic mobility and social isolation for these millions of Americans, the primary goal of the initiative is to advance the equity and economic prospects of poor and low-income Americans and of communities of color.
Drawing on scholarship across Brookings’s Economic Studies, Governance Studies, and Metropolitan Policy programs—and in collaboration with national and local policymakers, community leaders, and the Americans who experience poverty, racism, and the absence of economic opportunities first-hand—the initiative will expand supportive social networks between communities and identify innovative solutions for creating a more inclusive America.” This is one interesting initiate by RPI. Link below
Access data on your region or state’s housing burden by race, how it changed between 2000 and 2012, and how it ranks here. Download these charts to include in your next conference presentation.
https://nationalequityatlas.org/indicators?ind=7246
· Find out racial differences in homeownership in your region or state, and whether the racial gap is increasing or decreasing here. Share these charts with your social media followers.
https://www.frbsf.org/our-district/about/sf-fed-blog/racial-equity-primer/
https://www.frbsf.org/our-district/about/sf-fed-blog/racial-equity-primer/
https://www.racialequitytools.org/home
https://www.centerforsocialinclusion.org/our-work/what-is-racial-equity/
https://www.racialequitytools.org/plan/issues/economic-development
RPI
https://www.brookings.edu/about-the-race-prosperity-and-inclusion-initiative/
https://www.policylink.org/sites/default/files/Equity_Solution_Brief.pdf
Money Tip 006: Money is a social energy exchange!! Love wisely!!!
Money is a Social Energy Exchange; Understanding how the money flows inside of relationships matters to your happiness, motivation, and success in life.
Every single time you spend money, you are casting a vote for the kind of world you want to live in. That includes inside of your relationships, especially the intimate ones.
The song Back to You by Benjamin Gordon says it best: “Love is everything. Love is everything because Love makes the world go round. Love is the foundation of our souls. Love is the greatest feeling that any person can have. And when love for someone or something Is, it is the greatest feeling that ever existed. That’s what love is.” But how to not lose love?! Especially over money? So many people going in and out of love and a lot of the reasons have to do with financial well being. Well, you’ve heard this before but the key is to take care of yourself before you try to help other people. You must love yourself first. We as women must learn how to be independent before we become interdependent. In order to get there, first we must understand what is appropriate to be asked of you inside of your love life and friendships, financially.
As a consumer, you are growing the companies and people that you hand money over to. Why do you choose who/what you do? Because you love them or like them a lot. It is often because they provide experiences to you that you want to repeat or hold onto. When it comes to companies and conscious consuming, please read the last blog about B Corps for why you want to support these types of companies first and foremost. By empowering companies that care about their workers and the planet, we do in fact determine the future for all of us. We set the markets and the world off in a much better direction by knowing who we are really paying and by aligning our spending with companies that have the same ethos and operate with care and consideration as our own principals.
On the other hand, engaging with intimate relationships, we also need to learn when and where it is appropriate to apply a financial social exchange and examine the other ways we trade energy in the relationships that we spend the majority of our time inside of. We must define what our true value actually is. Just what is our contribution worth as women? Is it love, time, our bodies, our future…AND our money? At what point are we supposed to start contributing with our money?
I find that there is a disconnect in our culture with relationships and money. “Money” has become a dirty word. That’s why I brave the word with my name on social media these days. Because it isn’t dirty and we need to change the energy around it. Money is a wonderful tool that we must learn to embrace versus live in fear around. It’s still a taboo to even discuss it, especially for women, and it explains why so many women find themselves overwhelmed, depressed, and manic in first world countries. First world women are not only free to work, but now find that they actually MUST work to make middle income households survive. Something has gotten lost along the years in our “right” to work. I think that this has brought a loss of feminine energy and power because working, providing, and in turn protecting our family is naturally a masculine trait. I see middle class families in a constant struggle between the sexes. I see the men thriving at 50 and the women married to those men, wanting to pull their hair out frustrated that they signed up for this way of life. These two human beings live in the same exact relationship but one is thriving while the other is just surviving. What is happening here? First of all, stop offering money to men up front without defining how else you pay up in a relationship.
The basis of Social Exchange Theory says that if the costs of the relationship are higher than the rewards, this could lead to problems. *1 Effort in this definition, when applied to marriages, of course means time plus sweat equity paired with a balanced exchange of energy. But is the balance of energy exchange in the modern marriages actually balanced? Or are women pulling more than their weight at this point in time?
I realize that how and where you place your money, can lead you to added pleasure or pain in life. It can cause you more problems OR bring you satisfaction in all directions along with financial growth. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. This is why I often ask people when we first start working together around their financial lives (which you can also write on a piece of paper to see if for yourself):
“What are you spending?
Why are you spending it there?
Where does it absolutely have to go to every day/month/year?
What do the things you invest in, return to you?
Where do you enjoy spending money?
At what point does your money start working for you?
Do you ask questions about money, read about investing, or are you a “follow the leader” type?
Is the person you hand your money over to someone you can actually trust?
If you are in a marriage or a financially joined relationship, how much do you contribute and how much does the partner contribute in proportion to earnings and net worth?
In a joined financial relationship, is the spending on your family proportionate to what you both make so that you are actually saving the same amount or even better for a woman, so that she can get caught up to their net worth if you are not worth the same amount?
And if you earn more than the man, is he pulling his weight in home and nurturing duties?
Do you both have disability insurance and do you both have life insurance?
Having confident answers to these questions and making sure that you are on the same page with your partner on all of these, can completely transform your entire life, towards significantly better and safer.
If we look at where we are spreading out our finances, we can see what a lot of our ethics and goals look like, even in our relationships. What kind of energy we generate socially matters, because what you focus on grows. Some more important questions are the following. Does your partner want you to truly be their equal and/or protected in your financial well being? Or do they want you to be less and in turn controlled by them/their money? Do they make it so you feel safe and protected or do you feel lost and out of control in the field of finances? If you are a woman, are you earning? Are you on a break? Do you know what that break is costing your retirement? Are you investing regularly? What is the pay gap between you and your partner and how do you split things? And why do you split things the way you do? Have you discussed the value of your non-paid work duties in life and the value they bring to a family? Does he even care if you are contributing financially? If you don’t feel good about talking about this, then truly consider why you are letting another person have that kind of control over you. Why do these conversations bother you, if at all? Does paying in a relationship come at the expense of your femininity? And at what point do you take back the control for yourself and start participating in fair and equal energy exchanges, having a well rounded financial literacy level and understanding of your own work ethic and goals so you can live out your life the way you really want to?
To go deeper into a different mindset around this topic which focuses more on hypergamy and femininity coaching and slight man bashing which I don’t love but which makes sense why the sexes are still at war, watch and listen to this if you’re wondering how you got to the point of feeling conned in your relationship: The 50/50 is a scam “When you are the love a man’s life, he will take care of you, he will provide.” Chloe, the YouTube sensation, is really onto something here. Men and women are not the same and we need to stop acting like we are. And you all know when a man thinks you’re a Queen, when he treats you as such and you feel empowered, or when he just wants you to be a placeholder till he finds “the one”. So pay attention to who you are loving and what it is that love is costing you. Good men exist and won’t drain you or expect you to pay equal AND do all the nurturing and nourishing of a family as well. Pay. Attention. Ladies!
Besides the 50/50 relationships many women find themselves living in, there are a few major problems at the present moment with women’s financial health. We all know about the gender pay gap. But more important is the gender investing gap. Women don’t invest as much as men. What is sad is that while women tend to invest better (more appreciation, awareness, and analysis of risk), they more often than not STILL keep their money in cash, while knowing not to. Sallie Krawcheck states that women are leaving $5T on the table, in her book Own It. WHAT? Yes. $5,000,000,000,000 USD. WTHEFINANCES?!! Do you know what this means!!?!! Do you know what $1T in the hands of women would do to our power and well being within society?? How many female owned companies could be funded with that amount of money?! How many millions of lives would improve? We MUST take control, right here and now on this matter. The investing gap is leaving major money on the table that could empower women in the markets, inside of their retirements, their daily lives, their health, exploration of earth and their minds, and better social lives. So this is the largest part of the problem and something that I can actually offer help with immediately: Start investing already, ladies. Get a financial advisor like yesterday. Sallie says that each day you don’t invest is like having a hole in your purse that costs you $100. $100 every day. “If you had a hole in your purse that cost you $100 cash every day, how long would it take to fix that purse?:” Sallie says. I’m pretty sure it would take me half a day to fix that purse. What about you?? You pay someone 20% to bring food to you from a kitchen every time you eat in a restaurant. Stop with the endless excuses. Financial wellness leads to all other wellness. It’s the key to all of the doors. Look up Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. You can easily pay 1-2% for the most important service you will ever buy yourself.
The financial advantage men have over women is literally built into our society and economy. STILL. Yes, sadly, it is. So, until that changes, this means that they SHOULD be taking us to dinner and treating us well and pampering us with spa days and presents and valuing the work we put into just being females and running our homes on top of working. As mentioned in a Blog 001, women still make $400K less than men with the same qualifications and education over the course of their lifetimes. That pay difference, just for being female, is the equivalent of 3 meals a day for 4 people for 37 years, 2 homes, 14 cars.... So, the next time a guy tells you how much your dinner bill is, run for the hills!! I heard one woman who actually said to a man on a second or third date who was trying to split a dinner bill “If you can’t afford to take me to eat, please let me know so that I can find a man who can and will.” He laughed and said absolutely he just didn’t know the protocol. They got married two years later and he never asked her for money again. I’m not actually sure men even want women to pay for themselves when I hear stories like this. I just think it’s all gotten very confusing for everyone!
So, besides the fact that men MAKE more than us, they also earn more on their money than we do on our money because they put it to work for them instead of just having it sit there and not even battle inflation, which is 3.22% on average over the last 20 years. Yeah, yikes. The reason men are good at investing is because they hear other men talking about money starting at the age of 1, whereas women can take 23 years to have their first conversation about money, compounded interest, saving, etc.
With that knowledge, consider why you are splitting bills 50/50 or 60/40 with your husband who makes 2x as much money as you. If you are doing that, why are you doing that? You realize that by doing this, you are just padding his retirement and driving yourself up the resentment wall right? If he really loves you, he will invest in YOU. Not the other way around when you are the one unable to really have a second family in your 50s and 60s if it doesn’t actually work out. (60% odds that it won’t - sorry I’m a realist and highly number/statistic oriented.) I would even say that you need more money than he does because high chances are yours for living longer than he does. So let this be a message to stop and think. Analyze how you are functioning in your relationship. And to double down on the investing topic, PLEASE talk to an advisor about how to stop leaving your money in cash where it doesn’t at the bear minimum battle inflation. These are the two most important topics. Third, you must choose QUALITY friends. Consider friends as an investment. Because really, that is what they are. If a friendship is not returning anything or uplifting you in any way (ie. regular check ins and phone calls, introductions, invites, care, love, support of your mission and promoting you to anyone when the chance is theirs to do so even if you’re not in the room, being there when you need them in hard life moment; basically equal exchanges of consideration and attention and actually BEING your friend), I would stop investing there immediately as well. And many of you know, I have mercilessly done this and it has been a life saver. It is how I have gotten myself so far. Because I won’t hold onto dead weight in life. I have also been let go at times, and it taught me to get real with myself and what I bring to the table.
So, please pay proportionate inside of love and don’t pad any man’s retirement plan instead of your own (he probably doesn’t want you to do this but you’re offering so hey why not), reach out to people who spend all day doing this to invest your money to get average returns that not only battle inflation but earn you some % and income, and don’t have low quality friends who don’t make you better and vice versa. That’s the point of all of this. Feel free to stop reading here if you’re short for time. The following offers more insight and specifics in case you need more on these topics.
To expand, there is a very real reason married men live longer than single men and single women live longer than married women. 2 Here in weird a$$ pandemic, the energy exchange in marriage and relationships is disproportionate and the majority of women are feeling it. Now many women find themselves unhappy, worked to the max between career and family life, day dreaming about sleeping with someone/anybody else, taking a sabbatical and/or quitting their jobs. Actually over 617,000 women have quit their jobs in September in comparison to 87,000 men so far in the same month. If that isn’t a glaring fact force in your face, I don’t know is. If that doesn’t shake you out of the delusions that we are not living in an unfair balance of energy exchange with WAY more stress and now less earnings for the long term because of problems in the economy and world, nothing will. In fact, again from Own It, most women take an average of 11 years off in their career lifetime. And who can blame them?! But that can equate to over $1M in your retirement. And yet, we have to take it. We start to feel like men and that feels unnatural to us. I don’t want to always have to provide and protect my family and if I did I would consider myself single. Professional women often become highly masculinized, not just because they often are surrounded and taught by men in highly intellectual industries and fields, but because they also have to protect and provide for themselves until the find “the one”. Then they marry someone who wants them to keep providing because they did it in dating [because they thought that is what they were supposed to do and that is what the “liberation” of women taught us to do]. So, the divorce rate goes up steadily each year and we just work harder as women and try to keep it all together. Because that is what women do, we adapt and grow. But enough already. Adapt and grow, but also find a man who gets this. We need to apply analysis to the cold hard numbers of these 50/50, 60/40 and 70/30 relationships. Women really should not be asked to part take in 50/50 or even 60/40 relationships unless their husband is disabled or the woman WANTS this and comes to the table with WAY more money than the man. But even then, really? Women, please make sure the man you marry has disability insurance before you sign anything with a 50/50 or 60/40 guy. Unless you plan on emasculating and demeaning your man. Then a 50/50 or 60/40 relationship serves you right. Also, we don’t need men that are more like women. We need men to be more like men. Listen to this. “Women want real men. They want men that they can admire and look up to. .. Passive men don’t defend, protect or provide. They don’t lead. They don’t do the things we have always relied on for society to survive.” We need more men that embrace their masculinity and want women to embrace their femininity as well. We don’t need more men that are more like women. We need more men that are just good. But still masculine.
If a male wants you to be your most feminine self and even financially contribute to a household and is highly intellectual, they won’t actually ask you for money. And he certainly will not abuse you into it either. What they do is help make you successful at your own skillset without needing promises on the back end. They don’t kill your motivation. They help you find it. And you should be doing the same for them. Men can do this by not taking and draining to the point of no return from you. They should want to make it so you have “me time” to stay in your feminine energy and feel full. If women continuously invest in a partner and get little or no return back, that relationship is on the pathway to failure. All women know there is really no better way to ensure more loyalty from a woman, than to make her feel protected and provided for. But because so few men get this, we see endless mind games and a lot of control going on with money, including slacking by the men in all departments. We all know that when you give a good woman a house, she will make it into a home. Likewise, when you give her an opportunity, she creates several with a single introduction. So why don’t more men try to empower their women? Firstly, they’re getting a free ride and they don’t have to. Why would they?! The way society is set up, it’s so easy to use and purge women. Secondly, it scares them. They think they may lose her if they help her flourish. Which is sheer insanity and serving such a small percentage of the population. No American woman I know ever left a man who treated her like gold, the best man of her life, because she “made it” to the top with his help. If anything, the man is just even more in love with her and vice versa and he ends up wanting to take HER name because he is so proud of what they’ve built together with him uplifting her. And this goes for women too. How can you expect a man to protect and provide for you if you don’t lift him up? I often see in intimate relationships, men controlling women with money and women losing respect for men that they have to pay for. So many unhappy people manipulating each other – all because of money! But these are real problems that decimate love bonds, that often don’t come up for years into a relationship. These are the real tools that enable people to live out either heaven or hell in love. How nice would it be if men empowered women to hit their max potential when they had the means to do so and the women didn’t have to age themselves at the thought of having to pay for him on top of all her other responsibilities in life. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone just left people BETTER than they found them?! Wouldn’t it be magical if men left women financially empowered and not drained after years of loyalty and women left their men encouraged, uplifted, and strengthened: feeling like they can do anything with their lives? If people acted like this…there probably wouldn’t actually be much leaving going on. Surely not 60% and increasing each year.
To be fair, it’s not all the modern man’s fault women are so stressed out. So much of the modern woman’s financial stress comes from our parent’s current financial situations. The financial literacy of our mothers now has them leaning on their daughters, especially once they are single as senior citizens. So many of my friends give their mom’s money. I think we are so driven to succeed as millennials and Gen x and y because we have lots of issues right now including taking care of our parents. Many of our parents do not have long term care. Why??! No one told them to get it in their 50s or 60s because they weren’t a part of a conversation where they could ask about their futures. But this means WE are the long term care plan for them. Which is unfair and majorly expensive. Many of these parents weren’t prepared for retirement. In fact, 48% of boomers are actually not financially prepared for retirement. *3 WTF?! Many of these boomers are women who didn’t understand or receive any financial education, who don’t have basic financial literacy, and who now need us to carry this weight. “ My husband takes/took/was supposed to take care of that.” “Your father left me nothing when he ____ .” I hear it all the time. But the problem is, he didn’t take care of “it”…at all. So this crisis falls on the younger generations to cover aging parents who were financially irresponsible and scared to talk about money and stand in their own power. So now, as women, we have to also pay for aging parents on top of padding our husbands retirement by splitting bills AND cover our children and oh yeah also ourselves? Count. Me. Out! This is affecting our ability to be the loving partners that we want to be and are supposed to be and to have our own families that we do desperately, but not too desperately, want. Something has to change. We must start thinking outside of the box and reclaiming our energy exchange, our own financial wellness and money security.
When a couple is going to be married, the best thing a couple can do is have these hard conversations early. For a low income family, I suggest that both adults figure out how to think bigger for their families and learn about ACEs and what is holding you back in life. There are so many resources for creating more wealth and stronger mindsets. Make sure you’re investing even a little each month and educate yourself on the side, even if you’re exhausted. Don’t watch TV. Read books. Read about finances. Learn about all the tools at your disposal. This is imperative to break through the glass ceiling of poverty. For a middle income family, the parents should be splitting bills proportional to income or he should be covering it and appreciating this family unit he is providing for so she can also save for retirement. If she doesn’t work, give her some power over the finances once she shows you she has financial literacy and interest. For a higher earning income family where both earn, they should agree to BOTH contribute 5-10% of their income into an irrevocable trust for their children. This includes all assets acquired together in the relationship, homes, cars, art, etc. If a man is not working, he needs to take all of his might to uplift himself into earning. Even if the woman isn’t supporting him emotionally and at this point it is likely that she will not be. Nothing else is of a concern because until he is able to provide, he will feel emasculated. And rightly so, all he needs to do is look at his wife who has been covering him and likely being a great mom at the same time and see that it’s killing her. Read The Science of Getting Rich and keep reading it until you figure out your way towards steady income and a positive attitude. Also How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a good continuous read. If the man is way ahead of her financially, likely in assets, savings, inheritance, investing, he will cover her until she is caught up to him. That is if he loves her and she is the love of his life. This is how that one usually works and honestly that is really the best predicament for most relationships to be honest. If a woman is ahead of him, empower him but don’t let him be a leech on your retirement. Make sure he is highly motivated if you’re going to help him build his dreams with your money, and doesn't have addiction issues. These are just a few of many scenarios that makes everyone happier and feel more secure in their love lives. I say this to empower women AND men. I know the financial and marital statistics of women over 60 and ladies: it ain’t pretty. So please pay attention and let you men know how important this is to you, and to your sex life and that it should be an ongoing, safe, and open conversation. Women’s ability to feel safe with their money is affecting everyone and all generations at this moment in time.
Relationships should empower, not drain. If the man feels drained by you, he’s either cheap or you’re not being the female he needs. If a woman feels drained, chances are the man hasn’t noticed and will not notice unless you bring it up. They will selectively care about different specific sections of your concerns so choose words wisely. Sadly, for women, there will rarely be lasting change once the relationship is set in its way. It’s hard for men to change once you’ve allowed them to live in a way that suits him so much so and prioritizes his financial security and future. This is why we see so many break ups as the answer instead of therapy sessions. They just go in circles and change is hard for most people. So setting this up from the start is key. The reality is that relationships take work, and a balance of energy exchange, and a TON of love and understanding each others desires and needs. With that, it’s important as a society that we are honest about how much of the female energy is unanalyzed, unaccounted for and not respected for the power of success in a family that it actually is. It is also underutilized because most women are drained and not ABLE to live in their true feminine power.
Time is money. Especially for women. We who have a ticking clock on our ability to create life. For women, what we actually pay out of time in relationships spent on bad guys actually costs a lot more than it costs to the guys we dated. For women in their late 30s who wants kids, dating a man who wants more than he is willing to give can be detrimental. When a person I am dating wastes 6 months of my life because they weren’t transparent from the start that they wanted me to pay household bills, split trips, cover groceries, take care of and pay for kids, help them when they start getting old and maybe sick (especially if the man is more than 10 years older than you), run a successful household, and stay beautiful and sexy…it feels like I just got robbed, which I did. Women are actually hurting in these breakups because they lost time and money. I hate to say it but for each 6 month wasted love affair, you just wasted about 50K you could have earned with all that time. 5 failed relationships is a quarter of a million dollars lost. On top of the cost of aging. Every year you get closer to 40, or actually look at it as from 25 towards the age of "not being able to bear children anymore” years old, you have to consider the cost of freezing eggs (10K), paying to keep them frozen (5K per year), how much time and money you’ve spent to make yourself to look good for partners (tons), dress well (crazy), be educated (debt) and gainfully employed yourself (at the cost of femininity and self care), drive/fly/commute to date them, networking to meet them, and so on. The biggest and worst part of all is that in all that wasted dating time (which could have been avoided with a single talk about finances) you could have made money or advanced yourself from writing a book, designing or writing a mastermind or online course, screenplays, getting certifications, participating in conferences, groups, mentorship programs, advancing your degrees, grow your own spirituality, heal past traumas, or have been actually talking to a real man who gets what’s up and would have showered you with love and presents until you agreed to marry him because he was actually the one. The reality is, these guys are a lesson you had to learn. But you’re going to keep getting the same lesson in life until YOU LEARN IT and move onto the next lesson you are here to learn. So try not to learn the same lesson too many times. This one is an expensive lesson, that takes a lot of time away from growing yourself, that you literally cannot afford to repeat too often. I know you will find someone who understands your value and I believe in destiny. But we also must take back some control and learn who it is that we are dating from the start. The most important thing is that if you do get to spend a lot of time on your own and developing yourself, you will create a life for yourself that is incredible. And it will be hard for a person to come in and make it better than you’ve made it. And so that makes it easier to know who is the right guy. Because unless they’re making it better all around, then you’re doing amazing on your own and will just keep on keeping on. That’s when you can feel like a success story whether you’re married, or rich, or have kids, or a perfect body. That’s when you know you are on the right path and love is going to play out exactly how you always dreamed it would. Because you took care of yourself first. And then don’t lower your standards for anything. Let’s rise into love. The fall is played out and doesn’t hold long term happiness at its helm.
I love men. I hope you don't think otherwise after reading this. But I don't think the the way men treat women is working for us to feel empowered to embrace our wild and wondrous female energy and harness it for absolutely divine and abundant creation and to uplift our partners every day. I also don’t think the way women treat men is keeping them devoted to us and focused on their desire for making family life happy and healthy and full of quality experiences and happiness. I think so many men are emasculated and manipulated over money. I think so many women are depressed and drained over money. I want change. I want all of us to take away one key note from this conversation: If we empower each other daily after we have spent at least 10-20 minutes a day loving ourselves, our own ideas and our finances before anything else, we can think with abundant mindsets, and we will create more of that energy. I hope for everyone that they get to experience self empowerment. When we aren’t doing life with the love of our lives, maybe our time is best focused on healing, then empowering our own way of life before we try to connect to another person. That way we can both come to the table whole and make a lot of amazing things happen with a balanced energy exchange.
If we don’t have this loving awareness and respect in our internal and love lives, many of the other relationships in our world will be strained. Let’s now discuss non sexual but equally important relationships: the classic best friendship. I WISH someone had told me this when I was 20:
FRIENDS ARE EXPENSIVE.
Friends are especially expensive if you’re in a major city and are inclined to be a real friend. Why? Parties. Lots of them.
Lots and lots of them. Ok as smart women, let’s analyze this: You’ve got 8 best friends. With that comes birthday parties, girl’s night out, girl’s lunches, and girls trips for a few years. This is before engagements start. Then you have engagement parties, bridal showers, weddings (gotta love a destination wedding: a 5k investment with no return unless you meet the love of your life), cost of the dress to be her b*tch (which you’ll never wear again because they don’t want you to look prettier than her which isn’t even possible you white wearing devils), anniversaries, baby showers, kids birthdays, animal birthdays, Kickstarters… then just wait till funerals, depression and mid-life crisis’ get tacked on. And don’t forget the therapy you will need when your best friends in bulk disappear after they get married because you’re still single and now considered a threat after you were just a slave for them for years with no payback because you’ve ended the relationship because you realize they are shitty people. Ok. That was a run on sentence but you get the point. I know I sound jaded and kind of upset about this all. Because I am.
Let’s say friends end up costing anywhere from 5K to 20K per friend. As an average let’s just say that it is 10K per friend. Now multiply that by 8 friends. That’s $80,000. Do you know what that means in investment terms. Invested wisely, $80,000 at an 8% return over 20 years doing NOTHING to that money, you can have close to $375,000. That’s a house that can provide income. That’s every meal in your entire retirement. That’s a lot of money at a pretty average return.
Now that I am a financial advisor with a high level of understanding of financial wellness, I know what massive gains I’ve lost on low quality people who weren’t ever going to be there for me. People who never returned on the investment I made on them, when I was constantly there for them. And that burns and is the key point. I should have gone to 5 less weddings and 10 less partner’s birthdays and other useless events that cost me where it didn’t really matter if I was there. I should have invested what I would have spent on that person instead of supporting someone that I kind of had an intuition wasn’t so great. (Ie. gossipy, catty, surface, unhealthy, basic chicks).
Please don’t get me wrong and go away from this blog deciding to become a loner for the rest of your life in the name of making money. Thats not the point at all and will not make anyone happy. The truth is that we all need 5-6 best friends. (Check out the podcast with Chelsea Shield’s has more info on this). Most people have 2-3 friends besties today. So most people actually need MORE friends. But not place holders. We don’t need bad or fake friends to make up for the other 2-3 that we crave and that we biologically need to evolve. We need to find REAL friends who return love back to us and make our lives EXPAND. Not contract or feel worse than when we are alone. And for social butterflies like me: I needed more quality and honestly just less. I should have chosen more wisely. I’m not beating myself up about this but I am hoping this helps someone from my errors, at least. In the last 5 years I really have changed who surrounds me. I am now surrounded by incredible and successful people who want to see me thrive and that’s the only kind of person I want around me and I’m merciless about keeping it that way now.
Write on a piece of paper the 20 people closest to you. Who is giving you an EVEN energy exchange in your sphere? Who makes you smile when you see their name. Who makes you cringe? Who is going to be there for you in the REALLY bad times like if your dad is dying and your moms family hates them and won’t be there to support you through that experience at all. This is important. Who is really going to show up for you? Anyone?? Mark those people with a check or a smiley face or a heart. Now, next, cross off the names of those who doesn’t text or call you back for days. Those who make you wonder if they love you for real. If you have friends who don’t even think to ask you how you’re doing after losing a parent because they’re planning their wedding, they’re not your friend! They’re a horrible person actually. Don’t waste any more money on them. Who talks about other people in a negative way constantly? Chances are they also talk about you when you’re not around. Is someone using you to do bad things to their partners or family? Not. Good. Lose them immediately, you are not a tool for deceit. These lists goes on and on - basically sunshine versus darkness here- choose the light. Remove the shadows, chances are they already have taught you the lesson you needed from them.
Now, FIND BETTER ENERGY EXCHANGES!! This is so important. I truly subscribe to this idea for all of our deepest relationships. “You must be unapologetically brutally, excruciatingly, discerningly conscious and ruthless about who you choose to call your friends. And then hold on for dear life and never ever let go.” Ain’t that the truth! I have no idea who said that but it’s the best.
Measure the energy exchanges between your friends does it feel equal? Are they at least balanced over the time you’ve known each other? Are you always the one calling them? Visiting them? How many of their homes have you seen and been to? How many of yours have they seen? That one is always a real tell for me. Do they call you and check in on you? Do they remember your one big day per year when you remember all 3-10 of theirs; great! Then they’re worth keeping. If not, question it! If you feel their energy exchange, it’s real. If you don’t, it’s not. Money doesn’t have to be a marker. But it is a good one. Are they asking you to do trips together to stay involved yearly, meaning active in their care and experiences and spending time with you? Are they invested in helping you meet your life partner if you’re single? Do they truly think about who they know that would be a good life match for you?
If the exchanges aren’t balanced then you have to have a conversation and ask when they plan to start to treat you the way you need. And if they say never or don’t show improvement, MOVE ALONG. If they tell you your standards are too high, just say “You know what, you’re right!” And laugh that one off all the way to loving pixies instead. Please don’t call people like that again because they’re beneath your level of engagement and affection and until they level up, they’re a waste of energy and chances are they are energy vampires. (Read Celestine Prophecy)
Take stock of people you are removing from your friend group and who is their friend group. Chances are they run with lower quality people, because that’s the vibe they frequent more often than not. It’s okay to let go. This is a good sign. This means you have elevated your own vibrations. You are vibing higher! That’s great news. Uncomfortable but wonderful. I am fine removing people from the “best friend” list because it leaves space for someone who is actually full of friend potential to fill in that space. Find someone who will have some ROI (Return on investment and this also means emotional investment.) Find people who want to have even energy exchanges and know how to love because they’ve figured out how to love themselves first and foremost and their energy is almost contagious - like yours!
This is all quite hard information, but I share it because society has you brainwashed. Lift up. Life is pure magic. You can live in heaven. Or hell. If you’re in hell, look around you and take note: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression, first make sure you aren’t surrounded by a$$holes.” I love that quote. It’s so true. Who are you surrounding yourself with? There was a study done by Harvard that Obesity is contagious. Read that study. It’s fascinating. You are who you hang with! So WHO ARE YOU HANGING WITH? You can’t do epic $hit with basic people. Time to rise, friends.
“I used to think the worst thing in the world was to be alone. But now I know it’s not. It’s to be surrounded by people who make you feel even more alone than when you’re actually alone.” Robin Williams
If someone isn’t meeting your expectations in life, find people who will. And there ARE people who will love you. There are 7.8 BILLION people on this planet. I promise 10 of them will love, adore, and help you advance your life beyond your wildest dreams and think you have something to offer them in loving return. If you feel the energy exchange is going to create true abundance, meaning more happiness and more comfort and tons of joy and quality experiences, meaning that you can hit your max potential with that person alongside you be it a business associate, lover, friend, partner; meaning you actually feel and engage with your infinite power by being with those relationships, then you are in the right relationship and on the right paths.
Secondly, learn how to enjoy being alone. Learn to enjoy your solitude over feeling loneliness. You are magic and a miracle. Learn how to be that. And if you think you aren’t that great, then work on yourself already! Life does have a time limit and there’s a TON of help out there. Yoga, meditation, self care routines, walking in nature, therapy, etc. Once you are vibrating on the right energy, once you feel for yourself that you are wonderful, people will come to find you. When you’re vibrating on a higher frequency, you will catch each other. Find souls who respect what you bring to the table, value your time and encourage you to grow and become better, newer versions of yourself. If you feel alone or bad for yourself, quickly volunteer. Get out into the world, with a mask on of course. Seeing how you do have value to love and care for others will make you grateful for what you do have, and will empower you to do and be better and happy. Try to remain in a state of gratefulness. A mindset of abundance brings more of this. A mindset of lacking does the same as well. The choice is yours! But remember that what you focus on GROWS.
I don’t think money is everything, but it is important to know where and how to spend it and when it should and should not be asked of us. I admire couples going at it alongside each other in a 50/50 and it would make sense if the business world wasn’t so male dominated, and homework wasn’t assumed to be a female responsibility, but it isn’t that way, just yet. So we must be realistic! People who tell you it doesn’t matter were likely born with a silver spoon and just don’t get it so ignore them. Take stock in your worth. And don’t date or be friends with people who aren’t trying to truly achieve greatness and who don’t get that you’re amazing and treat you as such. Doing so is only going to ruin your financial life and block you from meeting the actual soul mates. If you find that you are spinning or stalling instead of advancing your own position towards real wealth and contentment, this might be your way out and up and over to a new version of yourself. Soul mates are people that think you’re priceless, don’t keep score, and know you’re going to generate abundance for them by encouraging and empowering their expansion beyond both of your wildest beliefs. And vice versa. As individuals it is best to live with faith in our chosen paths in life and to live a life with purpose. (This is actually the basis of The Science of Getting Rich.) It is also amazing to align with others who walk this same path.
If you’re in a 50/50 and you want to talk about this with me more, you know where to find me. If you are angered by this, just know that what I am saying is much of what most women feel and think but cannot say out of fear for losing their relationships or being name called or shamed. We are in this together, let us be a source of renewal and education for each other. Together we can spin the world in the right direction, but it does take communication and a willingness to listen to the things than anger, trigger, and upset us. Let’s all use our anger as a tool. If you feel it, it’s trying to tell you something. Sit down and listen. (Continued reading for this is Radical Forgiveness and Choose Wonder over Worry.)
Find me at @melrosemoney on IG.
Nothing in this post is a recommendation.
*1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_exchange_theory
Wikipedia “Social exchange theory is a sociological and psychological theory that studies the social behavior in the interaction of two parties that implement a cost-benefit analysis to determine risks and benefits. Also, the theory involves economic relationships, it occurs when each party have goods that the other party values. Social exchange theory suggests that these calculations occur in romantic relationships, friendships, professional relationships and ephemeral relationships as simple as exchanging words with a customer at the cash register.”
*3 https://www.aarp.org/work/retirement-planning/info-2014/boomer-retirement-little-savings-means-working.html
Money Tip 005: B Corps are where it is at.
Nothing in this post is a recommendation.
“Doing good is good for business.” And for your soul.
“The B Corp community works toward reduced inequality, lower levels of poverty, a healthier environment, stronger communities, and the creation of more high-quality jobs with dignity and purpose.
(If you would like to skip the part about my story and how I came to LOVE B Corps and what they are, just jump to the line about 7 paragraphs down.)
I put about 4 years into building all the basic bodies and concept for my clothing company. It was endless days of work so that I could do to get the ball rolling on the collections ethos, be placed in a few stores, raise capital, and become a true brand. And I started losing steam. Not because the design, manufacturing, distribution, selling, and branding process was exhausting, and it was, especially with a small team and myself managing contracted professionals to in every part of that process. I wasn’t losing steam because the fear of not making it held my entire body paralyzed with fear most nights. These are normal issues for entrepreneurs. What was it?! I figured it out, finally. It was because I couldn’t shake the newly acquired knowledge of how detrimental this path was for people AND the planet…and me. That fast or even moderately slow fashion is all wrapped into one of the most damaging industries in the world, toxic at every turn, and that I wasn’t ethically aligned with it at all. I started to feel like I didn’t have purpose. I felt like I was causing more harm than good. And that wouldn’t be sustainable for me long term. I didn’t enjoy watching people dump dye into their local rivers. And then I certainly didn’t enjoy watching people bathe in the canals that lined the streets of beautiful Bali, likely in the dye that our clothes were using. It was a sight most Western people never see because they don’t go deep into the truth of the island. But it was a sight I will die with engrained into my mind. One I’m forced to revisit over and over again, because it’s one of those things that changes you as a person once you see it. People bathing in their only precious water, water that had human waste and anything else you can imagine in it. It all started to feel just plain wrong. When I picked out fabric, I wondered where it was from. Who suffered to create that and how many rivers were polluted to make it? Had everyone in the fashion industry just been content to be this evil, to see this process, and never do anything to correct it? (If you want more information and links on the actual detriment of the fast fashion industry, and your retirement, read the 3rd blog on this site.)
So, I decided that to just create something wasn’t enough. I didn’t just want to make a clothing brand and get rich off of raping the planet to do so. Even to create a consumer experience or community around the brand was not enough, because it was still supporting something that I had a hard time continuing my belief in. We needed to be really DOING something. We needed a cause. And all of a sudden, that passion, that undeniable spark which carried me 4 years into the process of owning my own clothing line, was back.
I quickly made contact with two water-based charities. I decided we would have a cause for each collection I created and I would find a way to use better quality textiles. The textile thing proved very challenging. So I looked at the positives that we did have. I felt okay with my factory because they provided food, water, shelter, and schooling to everyone and their children who lived there and worked for this family. I felt like it was a happy and relatively clean place.
So, I pushed on and started identifying the best charitable organizations we could align with. The first would be to donate a percent of our proceeds to clean the great lakes in Michigan where I am from. And the second would be birthing camps in the Philippines and other parts of Asia including Indo. My friend was a mid-wife who told me that the issue was water for birthing. Water was far from these camps. These women, who didn’t have access to birth control, who were having babies they didn’t have a choice in having or necessarily really want or could afford, were dying because they didn’t have 2 buckets of clean water, which is necessary for safe childbirth. I started looking into the Balinese water charities and issues like this, to start conversations with them as well. I started to really feel this idea out, this idea of creating something that by the very sale of the product that I was selling, would help part of the process. I spoke with a few people at the charities and I decided we would become a B corp. We would need to figure out how to make our process transparent to our customers and make it part of what we would do with our company. But it all proved more difficult than I could manage with only one other full time employee. It was now 2015 and I felt so compelled to do something good with my life, but this was proving near impossible. I lost steam again. I lost faith in this mission. Was it an oxymoron to try to clean the planet by creating and selling clothes? And then, the magical twist happened. We had an issue with my production and I took it as the chance of a lifetime to run away from this diabolical industry. It was time for a personal and professional MAJOR life pivot.
Now most people judge a pivot, let’s be real. But a pivot can really be a breath of fresh air. And in The Lean Startup which I strongly recommend you read before even thinking about starting a company, he says that this is integral to creating sustainable business. And pivots will be a whole other blog. So pivot, I chose. Did I mind that the next 5 years would be filled with roller coaster emotions, second guessing my choice to abandon the last, by now, 5 years of hard work on a collection and company that at one point was my whole universe and future wrapped into one? I did. But not long enough to let it stop me from moving away from this place that made me miserable, that I found myself trapped in all of a sudden. By choosing to step back and really take some fresh air in for what I was embarking on with owning a clothing company was everything I needed and more. In that time, I grew. I found myself in more ways than I could have imagined. I reflected on all the things I would do differently if I ever did it again. I tried to recover what I could that wasn’t stolen from my collection. I tried many jobs to just make ends meet. I got hired and fired and hustled. I didn’t make it sometimes. I was sad. Then I was revived by knowing I was on a new path and it was taking me to the next version of me that was better than the last one. We kept Paradisiac on the back burner but didn’t put pressure to ever make it a thing again. Then I started respecting myself for being so brave and strong. And then I started respecting my money. And then I left New York so I could save and get some fresh air for real. I got super healthy. And then I got super smart. I managed to get my series 7, 65, and 63 and transition into finance. From the ages of 34-37 I changed my entire life direction. It was painful and probably the hardest thing I have ever done to date, but it was totally worth it. Because I found ESG.
Now most people are thinking, Mel Rose, Finance? Really? Yes, because this is where we really start to be able to make changes and this was where I had the hardest time as an entrepreneur and professional female. So if nothing else, I could help people and relate to them for a job, which suits me. I met countless people and started to learn about this little tracking tool for financial analyzing called ESG. I watched and learned how companies are now measuring their impact. From Environmental, Social, And Governance, stances. Those quantitative (measurable) things, matter. Now, finally, we can say that we only want to invest in and build companies that have a conscious and a way to prove it. The great part is (and this is not a recommendation) that these companies seem to consistently outperform other companies. The best IPO for 2020 so far was Lemonade, a B Corp. There’s still a lot of gray here. But we are finally and definitely, with me as a part of it in my own small way, now off to the races. This is my curiosity and something I can be passionate around forever, and without courage, I would still be sitting in a factory back pedaling on how to not hurt people with my job. ESG is something I can surely build a business around. So, I started thinking, just how big IS the nonprofit sector and just how does one go about starting a B Corp. For many people reading this, I’m sure you’re like, what even is a B Corp?! A B Corp, in my humble opinion, is the future of our economic policy. It is a way to create a circular motion that is sustainable, literally for us to survive and grow in the best way possible, exponentially and with a conscience while still generating business. Let us explore the world of the B Corp and let us develop the businesses of the future with this information on hand.
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Everyone knows that non-profits are the “good guys” in society. But just how good are they for a nation's economy and is there a way to form a corporation with ethics and the community in mind that still can make money? The answer is a lot and yes, it’s called a B Corp, short for Benefit Corporation. Both of these company formation styles offer perks galore and are essential to the United States growing and growing in the right direction. So, I think we need to talk more about these kinds of companies. “Doing good is good for business.” And it’s really true. Which is Patagonia’s long-time motto, my favorite B corporation, and the first one I ever learned about.
Patagonia was the first California company to sign up for B certification in 2012, joining over 500 already certified B Corps in 60 industries. But what exactly is a B Corp and how is it different than a non-profit? B lab is a nonprofit organization based in Pennsylvania that certifies B Corporations. “To qualify as a B Corp, a firm must have an explicit social or environmental mission, and a legally binding fiduciary responsibility to take into account the interests of workers, the community and the environment as well as its shareholders. A company must also amend its articles of incorporation to adopt B Lab’s commitment to sustainability and treating workers well. In addition, a B Corp must pay an annual fee based on revenues, biannually complete a B Impact Report (a lengthy questionnaire that measures social and environmental impact), meet B-Lab’s comprehensive social and environmental performance standards and make that B Impact Report public, in order to receive the certification from B Lab.” *1
But how can a clothing company be good for the environment you ask? By not using harmful products, dyes, packaging, the list here goes on. They can do so by encouraging customers to buy items to last for a lifetime, while creating items that will actually last that long and urging consumers to have items fixed when they break or turn them in for discounts on newer models, and more. There are so many ways companies can do good for the environment, and also for their staff. Often times, executives are capped at their earnings, and this is a key element to making these companies work. Does any executive really need to make $20M and honestly how did we even get to the point where that makes any sense. Someone is paying for that either in the company, in the consumer, or by way of the planet. And it doesn’t mean that the companies cannot sell or IPO, and now more than ever, the attractiveness of such a company is here and hopefully to stay. I dare to say this is the new version of a company that would offer a pension from the Boomer era. Since companies converted mainly to 401K plans, the ethos of taking care of your employees has been something the Gen X and millennials have not had the pleasure of experiencing the way it once was. But maybe with B Corps, that kind of loyalty to companies that keep employees at for decades, will see a resurgence of long-term employment and loyalty, not to mention being proud of where you work.
Now I know what you’re thinking, how will I ever become a huge a successful company if I use a B Corp formation? You will do so like Lemonade. The best IPO of 2020 so far has belonged to a B Corp that is a mobile based insurance company and I couldn’t be prouder to report this news. Lemonade gained 139% after its initial public offering on Thursday July 2nd. The stock opened from the primary market price of $29 and ended at $69.41. *2 While being “a B Corp does not generally affect the company’s financials or provide any particular tax advantages” it does claim to “offer some public benefit to the economy at large.” Now just think if the DID offer some kind of tax incentive. Look up an EIS fund for the UK, this could work well in the US. These benefits, regardless of tax write offs, are something that investors aware of ESG are paying attention to. Now, I do not own this stock and this is by no means a recommendation. The stock dropped 7% after Goldman went bearish on it. But as of today, it is at $70 and I hope it stays up as a message to businesses that doing good really is good for micro and macro level financial wellness of a company.
B Corps are incredibly inspiring and the right way to move forward in a more conscious capitalism. When companies got rid of the pension, companies really reduced their care taking obligations for their own people by such a significant amount, so much so, that it seems the loyalty to companies went with it. And maybe some ethics as well. Who can blame someone for taking better options when they can find them, when a company takes away caring for you in a real way. Maybe with the ethics of caring for staff and the planet being built into the framework of start-ups and existing companies, these organizations that are certified “doing good” will pave a softer and much better way to the forefront of our economy.
These companies will be the ones who create jobs where people will want to grow within the “walls” and leadership of such corporations and even spend lifetimes with companies that they believe in, who also believe in them, and together all believe in a main purpose and mission. If you would like to see a speech, I gave in 2011 about how truly all start-ups should have charitable or conscious causes as their spines, how modeling exposed me to the toxicity of the fashion industry and the plethora of world problems, and that with more purpose, companies have higher chances of success, watch this: Mel Rose for Stitch Factory In this speech, which I was very nervous about, I outlined my experiences in the modeling industry which led me to my career in fashion as a designer which ultimately was unfulfilling. The thing is, when you’re starting a company, you need purpose, not just something to sell. Because 2, 6, 10 years down the line, the cycle gets boring and you will want to be contributing to life in some way. Money isn’t enough. And that’s the point. Money is the starting point, but it’s not the only end goal. We should be creating companies that, yes we want to sell, but that do cool and important work. If you head into the world of business with a spine that vibrates “one that cares about social and environmental performance, public transparency, and legal accountability to balance profit and purpose” *7 you’re ahead of the rest, and the people will pay attention to you. I didn’t know about B Corps back at the beginning of my company, but when I did find out, I tried to change my company formation and I have been suggesting them to countless startups I have worked with over these last 9 years because they just make so much sense.
Having a purpose adds a desire to push on when the going gets tough. Something many start up founders, often find to be the most challenging element of business once 5-7 years in. And that’s why B Corps are an incredible solution. We need to find a way to make B Corps truly the way of the future of our economy and appealing to people controlling the economy and largest corporations on the public marketplaces. That way is to create legislation that will provide some relief and tax breaks for B Corps. Maybe this would be a motivator for more companies to feel the need to create these frameworks within already existing companies that maybe don’t care much about their large staffing or their impact on the planet. Maybe this is the key.
In addition to B Corps, we do have one organization that does offer major tax breaks and that is non-profits. I’m here to shed a little light on the truth about non-profits. They’re huge, and important. Overall, the nonprofit sector provides roughly 10% of all private jobs in the U.S., employing more than 12 million people as of 2019. *3 That is A LOT of jobs. With 10% of employees wanting to have a purpose to their work and that being built into the definition of the places where they work, I think it’s safe to say non-profits matter and are here to stay. Researchers for Johns Hopkins Center for Civil Society Studies*4 reported that by the end of 2016, the sector came in third overall in total employment rate tied with American manufacturing. The report is fascinating, stating that “80% of all jobs in the sector come from three major cornerstones: healthcare (55%), educational services (14%), and social assistance (12%)
The report shows that nonprofit jobs pay 55% more on a weekly average than among social assistance groups, followed by 45% more in the education, and 24% more for outpatient healthcare. Hospital workers gained 14%.” *3.
There are all sorts of reasons why those numbers may be, but at the end of the day, these large numbers are super important. Why? Because Non-Profits actually while not profiting, make up vast parts of our economy. And now that it seems the capitalistic nature is slowly starting to consume with a conscience, it might matter a lot how companies form in the future and whether they choose non-profit or B Corp.
Ally 360 reports The Economic Impact of Nonprofit organizations and the numbers are startling. “Non-profit organizations play a vitally important role in the American economy. In fact, recent estimates show that non-profits account for roughly 5.3% of the nation’s total GDP and 9.2% of all wages and salaries—that makes nonprofit organizations roughly a trillion dollar industry.
The United States non-profit sector alone would rank as the 17th largest economy in the world.
The fact that the non-profit sector has been able to experience positive growth virtually every year since its formalization in the 1970s demonstrates the fact that it is an important component of the economy that is here to stay. The non-profit sector creates jobs, provides systematic financial security, and is able to help move financial assets to where they are objectively needed the most.
This part is even more fascinating. Even during the years 2007-2009, despite the fact that the overall economy was experiencing a ‘Great Recession’, the non-profit sector was able to continue growing. While the rest of the private sector was actively losing jobs at a rate of 3.7% per year, the non-profit sector was able to continue gaining jobs at a modest—but still positive—rate of 1.9% per year.”
As we all are well aware by now, we are in another weary time for our economy and this might be a key component to job creation and stabilizing the economy in times that injections might not solve. The article goes on to state “There are now more possible ways to acquire tax exempt status than ever before, and because of this, 1.6 million non-profits are able to currently operate in the United States and tens of thousands are now choosing to open their doors every year.
Additionally, non-profit organization have tremendously boosted the overall employment rate, and have been noted for providing over 14.4 million jobs in 2013 (the last year a full set of data is available for).”
Another voice that matters, the National Council of Nonprofits, brings up some other fair points. “While nonprofits are often recognized for their mission-based achievements and results, their economic impact as dynamic businesses in local communities is often overlooked.” * 6 Their article really helps narrow down the real implications of short- and long-term benefits to society from nonprofits. I recommend visiting their site because you can choose your state and see what percentage of private employment this sector makes up by state. Florida is at 7.2% while Vermont is 19%.
There are jobs in this space right now and with lots of tax benefits, these companies are emerging more and more every year, even in recessions. Maybe especially in recessions. The Aspen Institute released an article called “A Strong Nonprofit Sector is KEY to thriving communities. It reads “According to a survey conducted by The Bridgespan Group for the JPMorgan Chase, more than 200 nonprofits serving low- and middle-income communities identified the top four areas where they needed the most help. In addition to fundraising (61%) they listed communications and marketing (51%), program evaluation (38%), performance management (33%), technology (31%) and strategic planning (29%). Other areas for strengthening included board governance, human resource management and financial planning.” This is really important because if you are unemployed right now, this may be your calling and solution. Pay attention people!
And with that, I think B Corps are really the middle ground between S,L and LL Corps and non-profits.
“Society’s most challenging problems cannot be solved by government and nonprofits alone. The B Corp community works toward reduced inequality, lower levels of poverty, a healthier environment, stronger communities, and the creation of more high-quality jobs with dignity and purpose. By harnessing the power of business, B Corps use profits and growth as a means to a greater end: positive impact for their employees, communities, and the environment. B Corps form a community of leaders and drive a global movement of people using business as a force for good. The values and aspirations of the B Corp community are embedded in the B Corp Declaration of Interdependence.” *7
This is so important. The story of how B Corp certification came about is inspiring. “In 2006, three friends left careers in business and private equity and created an organization dedicated to making it easier for mission-driven companies to protect and improve their positive impact over time. The first 82 B Corps were certified in 2007.
The B Corp community reflects the world's business landscape, ranging from sole proprietors to publicly-traded companies. The majority of the 2,500+ B Corps are small businesses. Multinationals are engaging the global B Economy both through B Corp Certification and other engagements with B Lab.”
This whole concept and community was born out of 3 people wanting to actually create businesses that cared about the way things are made and who is making them, from the start. Oddly, it was a fashion company that sparked their desire to “do better” which I highly suggest reading on their website.
“Here are five ways every business can help build the benefit economy.
Know Your Values: At the core of every business is a set of values and principles and a vision of the world it wants to help achieve. Taking the time to articulate and express them might be, to employees and customers, the best investment you'll ever make in your company.
Commit Your Assets: Many companies make positive impacts. Enduring social enterprises build their business models around them: no impact, no business. Maybe you've heard that chickens contribute to a bacon and egg breakfast but pigs commit?
Measure Your Progress: What gets measured gets done, so figure out what your company's social impact metrics are and make sure all of your team members know how their jobs are vital to achieving them.
Invest in Progress: No company gets it all right. Everyone is learning new ways of making impact core to their work--and some other company is doing it better than you. Learn how to get better when the world around you is constant. Because you'll need to get better when it is changing.
Partner with Your Competitors: You might maximize profits on your own, but you cannot maximize impact alone. Do business with other companies that are building the B economy. Social entrepreneurs are as innovative at creating positive impact as they are about business success. At the end of the day, the B economy requires a market-scale, full-service network of benefit companies working together.
“Today, B Lab reports that more than 50,000 nonprofit and for-profit companies in at least 60 nations are using its assessment tool to measure progress toward the dual goals of performance and purpose. They include international brands, such as Dannon (yogurt), Patagonia (outdoor clothing and gear), and Eileen Fisher (women's clothing); prominent social enterprises, such as Ben & Jerry's (ice cream) and Kickstarter (online fundraising); and many other smaller ventures. They also include progressive financial institutions, such as Amalgamated Bank, Virginia Community Capital, and Beneficial State Bank.” *8
Lastly, “A 2010 study appeared in the Harvard Business Review under the headline, “More Small Firms Mean More Jobs.”5 The authors wrote, “Our research shows that regional economic growth is highly correlated with the presence of many small, entrepreneurial employers — not a few big ones.” The authors further argued that the major preoccupation of economic developers — how to attract global companies — is fundamentally wrong-headed.” *9
In closing this article really helped me understand the reasons for wanting a company to become a B Corp. “Cabot became a certified B Corp. To my surprise, certification not only addressed the questions posed by our retail partners but also delivered value beyond our expectations. B Corp certification encouraged more “whole-systems thinking” around our social and environmental practices, which led Cabot to develop even more robust customer and consumer programs, cut operating costs, and strengthen our brand reputation as a sustainability-minded company.” So odd enough, by following the process for creating B Corp, other problems were solved along the way. Genius!
“According to several studies, such as Nielsen’s The Sustainability Imperative, global consumers say they will pay more for sustainable consumer brands, and sales of consumer goods with a demonstrated commitment to sustainability have grown more than 4% globally, while those without grew less than 1%.” *10
So, while it may not be obvious to all, that becoming a B Corp matters, the proof will be in the pudding and in the hopeful IPOs. The proof has already been documented in countless articles online about non-profits, the best IPO of 2020, and in the actual feeling that these companies experience in their missions and in their creations of goods and services that help and heal, not hurt. Now it’s just a matter of time that people hop on the B Corp wave and process, while protecting our planet and our people, and while keeping the economy on course to create multi-generational wealth that will benefit not just a few families, but everyone and the only home we have, Earth.
*1 Patagonia.com
*2 https://www.yahoo.com/news/lemonade-gains-139-ipo-listing-213440097.html
*4 http://ccss.jhu.edu/publications-findings/?did=507
*5 https://learn.ally360.com/economic-impact-nonprofit-organizations-part-1/
*7 https://bcorporation.net/about-b-corps
*9 https://www.abell.org/sites/default/files/publications/BCorps%206-28%20%28002%29.pdf
*10 https://hbr.org/2016/12/it-pays-to-become-a-b-corporation
Money Tip 004: Funding for Women and Minorities in VC is better than ever.
Nothing in this post is a recommendation.
Underfunding while over-performing will not withstand systemic inequality in funding startups much longer. The time to create is now.
“Despite the severe funding gap, startups founded and cofounded by women actually performed better over time, generating 10% more in cumulative revenue over a five-year period, according to BCG.” Forbes
Do you ever think about becoming a founder of a start up? Starting your own company is not for the weak. The average amount of companies a person needs to start to have a success is 7. So being a successful entrepreneur is kind of like learning how to walk. Most people are still just crawling when they tell you they’ve failed once or twice. And yet, people still do it? Why? They want the ultimate freedom of being your own boss and achieving the American Dream, of course. Yet the thought of starting and failing that many times and working non stop, every day, makes many people content with a 9-5. Yet, with so much unemployment now, we will NEED many new companies to create new jobs. And if you’re a woman or a minority reading this, I urge you to be that change if you’re not happy where you’re at now or find yourself unemployed with a lot of ideas. It really does become the responsibility of the dreamers to dream and work us into a better future. All businesses were ideas at one time. I love the concept from the book Everything is Figureoutable which is something like this. Look around you. Everything you can see was at one time just an idea. Think about that!
For those who have vision to push this country forward and start new ideas so that our economy can get back on track, is a moment of opportunity. I hope that the new companies coming forward will be more conscious and more impactful in a positive way than ever before. I’m compelled to tell you my story, because I think it relates to this topic very much. And it just about killed me and my future. So I tell you, it’s not easy. But it will grow you, should you decide to commit to being an entrepreneur for some part of your life.
Scroll down to Lesson 1 if you’d like to skip my story of entrepreneurship.
In 2011, I started my clothing company, Paradisiac. Right now it sits on a semi-permanent back burner. And for good reason! As a trained fashion designer who worked in the industry as a merchandiser, designer, illustrator and model for 10 years before starting my own company, I thought I was ready. And I gave it my all. While all my friends were getting married and making babies, I was pumping my heart and soul into what I hoped would be a great success in the only industry I had ever known and loved. I lived in Bali and LA. I would spend 3 months in Bali doing all the manufacturing and branding with photoshoots and styling in Bali and then I would go back to LA and do all of the business and sales stateside.
By 2013, we were in several stores and we really needed help. I was financially overwhelmed all the time. I needed a financial partner. I needed more capital. We needed money so that we could grow. I needed an active partner. So I took my collection, my business plan, and my financials to several friends who knew the industry and to some people who I secretly prayed would hop onto this ship I had built.
One woman told me I was nuts to start a clothing company with under $50M. I see now what she meant and I don’t argue with that. At some point, I would definitely need that much, if I was going to take it ALL the way. But at this time I just really needed someone to believe in me to get me $1-3M with a factor for my manufacturing. I managed to get through 4 seasons and stay debt free with 4 shipments of goods for under $200K. But this was the thing Eva discussed on our podcast; I needed the debt. So that I could grow. I wanted to sell a piece of what I had built. It took all my might and power to push through this part. When my friends told me that it would be hard for me to get a bank loan, they didn’t offer much other advice or help. They were all white older men. But my company didn’t have enough revenue to even try a bank. They also told me that just any old clothing line was too “regular” for VC.
In fact, the only person who even muttered the word venture capital to me several times, which I assumed was only for tech start ups, was a woman. She said it so far under her breath I had to ask her to repeat it, and now I know why. Because the odds of me in 2013 successfully raising money for my company at a venture capital firm were small, very small, like miniscule. So what did I do? I started thinking. I thought and created more ideas off of ideas. I thought, maybe this is our time to pivot as a company.
I had a few options. I didn’t like what I saw environmentally with making clothes. The damage it was doing to the planet weighed heavy on my heart. The body image I was showing to women, with me modeling all the clothes to save money, also didn’t sit right. I decided all of our new collections first and foremost needed to support a cause. Because we were swimwear, I decided it would be water related charities. This would also give purpose to my life, which at this point I was starved for, struggling to make stuff to sell to people wasn’t doing it for me after 4 years of pushing hard at it. So I found one charity in the Philippines that delivered water to birthing camps and another for cleaning the great lakes, being from Michigan, it was also a cause close to my heart and in the US. I designed our upcoming campaign concepts around the idea. I thought maybe I could raise money if people saw we were doing good. I also thought maybe by creating a software that streamlines just one of the many broken processes I was dealing within the whole fashion industry, maybe that could raise money. I thought of turning the company into a B Corp that had ethics first and foremost, ROC (return on community), and sustainability at the forefront. The idea was too ahead of it’s time. People laughed at this. And when I started trying to create a totally transparent process of making a garment, I realized without funding or better resources, it would be just about impossible without hitting ethical or sustainable issues. So, I then decided to create a tech-fashion company concept. A store built into a container for the container park in Vegas, who had funding for ideas like this happening which I was connected to. The idea was that people could come in to shop and design their own creations on a screen and come back in a few hours and have custom clothing. Also, we could design that technology that would scan a person and give us measurements easily. We could use a 3D printer or a set of designs to create basic models for people to become their own clothing designers. I then created a whole website and social media platform idea for people who want to spend time online growing their mind, body, spirit, you name it, but a place to feel good, learn, and meet other people based on positive principles and interest. That idea was a 50 page deck with each page designed and ready to go. All I needed for all of the ideas was MONEY. One of these should do the trick.
I slowly shopped all the decks around one by one moving an idea that got rejected more than 3 times to the back. Often I would hear crickets or some white male would get back to me saying it didn’t “fit” their ethos or investing formula. It was like some form of modern torture. But I didn’t have a back up plan so I pushed on. It was gut wrenching. And I was losing steam. I couldn’t continue to pump all my modeling savings or go back for another round of funding from friends and family. I was stuck. Totally and completely trapped. I would have to make sure this last collection took it to a department store with a big enough order I could get a factor and just build it like that.
And then, the unthinkable happened. The factory I started to use in LA, since I was sick of living abroad for what now had been 8 years, ripped me off. The owner had a brother with a factory as well. The brother had a heart attack. So my factory had to take over all of his orders, for major retailers. My workload and upcoming collection, that would finally be in front of the major retailers, with a showroom I had finally landed in New York, fell to the bottom of the priority pile. I also didn’t have any of my samples to shoot to build a website around to go direct to consumer because the factory had them all to build new patterns of of. The factory oddly kept delaying me, ignoring me and my showroom asked me over and over where the designs were to sell for the buyers that season. I missed the selling season. So many excuses came from the factory.
When my designs finally showed up, they were made wrong, and worst of all, without my patterns or grading or any of my old samples. I went into the factory and the owner just shoved me out the door with more excuses. A few weeks later, I was at a Fourth of July party and I noticed a girl wearing two of my patterns pieced together. I asked her where she bought the outfit. There was no denying it was a Frankenstein of two of my pieces as I had done about 15 fittings to get both pieces to look right. Basically I was 100% sure it was my design. And this had happened to me in college and throughout my career so it wasn’t as shocking as upsetting. She said she bought it at Macy’s. I finally discovered that they stole all of my designs for the upcoming season and put their own label on it. This happens ALL THE TIME, in fashion. But I wasn’t going to let them do me like that. So I got a lawyer. I tried to sue them. Then my lawyer died in a freak accident. I threw my hands up in the air and just about lost my mind.
At this point, I had to decide if I would push on, or move to another industry. I could keep pushing, hard through an industry I had spent 15 years in, and maybe never make it. The thought of me being 50 and in this situation was too scary. How could I stay in an industry that felt like this. An industry that didn’t place a value on intelligence or hard work or actual talent. There was so much risk for so little reward. Where all the cards can often feel just totally stacked against you. The whole fashion world seemed to be based on luck and under the table deals. My 15 year love affair with fashion came to an abrupt end then and there. I decided to step back and move over to a new space.
What was the real problem here? What did I want to become an expert on? The answer was so obvious and yet it took me a few years. My passion was Money. Specifically, how to access it, and how to master making it work for me and for other people like me. Why wasn’t there access to capital, or people, to advise and help me in these times of ideas and growth? I decided I would learn everything I could about financial wellness and the finance industry. I would be the change I had needed. As soon as I put this idea out to the universe, doors opened. It was like all my time in the fashion industry I had been trying to open a door with the wrong key. They say when one door doesn’t open, it’s not your door. Now I see, it shouldn’t feel like you’re wearing cement boots to make a living. And now, I help tons of female entrepreneurs protect themselves for their future during the day with advising and I research VC and ESG all night. My podcast is to empower other people to emrace new things and change and unique career paths. And I love this life I live now. I don’t miss the factory days or the worry of owning a consumer faced brand that is hurting the planet. But I do think if I did fashion again ever, I’d do it right. And because of that belief, I do help young designers understand the importance of ESG, ethics, sustainability, charitable spines at inception, and the importance of strong financials and the right partners and advisors. Basically, I got a masters degree in business from the school of hard knocks and I am so grateful for it but at the time I thought I would never get to the other side of that mountain I was climbing. Daily, I am so inspired when I hear or read of female entrepreneurs getting the funding that they need to grow, and outperforming male run start ups when they do. Which, they do. The data is mounting and I’m so excited to share that with you. (Jump to end of article to read the 10 points that you won’t want to miss out on knowing the next time someone tells you that they might not want to invest in your ideas.)
There is a lot of material on this topic. It has taken a lot to filter through it for you. I’m going to share it with you now. I hope it will inspire you to think outside the box and to create companies, especially if you feel the call to do so. It doesn’t matter what your race, gender, sexual preference, or any other “limiting” identity you possess. Use your uniqueness as opportunity. There is now quantifiable data that proves these identities have and do hold us back…until now.. because the reality is, the hold back is less than ever before. And while it can be overwhelming, the future is bright and only going to get better and better for us.
I want you to learn from my mistakes. So I’m telling you information paired with some hopeful commentary and lessons that I’ve learned.
Lesson 1: Times HAVE changed. Women and minorities have opportunity now to get funding for their ideas, more than ever before.
Yes, it does help to have an ivy league degree, mainly for the network, to raise money in VC. Stanford has the most placement for start up graduates, but that’s not everything. And now more than ever, holes in marketplaces are valued with data that supports a niche. And there is a value in being diverse. So just prove there is a need for what you want to do, test it, document it, and develop community around your idea. Have a product that can grow with the people and support the planet and you’re golden. As more and more VCs are bringing on female and diverse partners to help make better investments, more of our ideas will get funded. ”Though the progress often feels slow, the past decade has ushered in undeniable improvements for women on the startup scene. The total number of VC-backed tech startups with a female founder has grown from 410 companies in 2009 to more than 2,700 last year. And that $46 billion invested in women-led companies 2018? “For perspective, only $3 billion went to female-founded startups in 2010, translating into a more than 15-fold increase over the past decade,” the Pitchbook and All Raise report notes. And VC funding for startups with at least one female founder more than doubled in 2018” *1 https://qz.com/work/1746745/vc-funding-for-startups-with-at-least-one-female-founder-more-than-doubled-in-2018/ Although dozens of firms have made concerted efforts to diversify their ranks, fewer than 10% of decision-makers at U.S. VC firms are women, according to a 2019 Axios analysis, which determined just 105 investors out of 1,088 were female. While the study noted an increase from the previous year’s 8.93% and 2017’s 7%, it proved venture capital is still very much a male-dominated industry. *2 https://techcrunch.com/2019/12/09/us-vc-investment-in-female-founders-hits-all-time-high/
More Women Became VC Partners Than Ever Before In 2019 But 65% of Venture Firms Still Have Zero Female Partners
*3 https://medium.com/allraise/more-women-became-vc-partners-than-ever-before-in-2019-39cc6cb86955
Lesson 2. When people lie, steal, cheat, ignore you; throw them an imaginary funeral and just move on. Karma has no time limit and your energy is better spent on building ideas up that support your life.
It’s okay to be down after a fail. But don’t let it keep you down. In fact, write down the lesson, light a candle, and move on as fast as humanly possible. I’m here to tell you, the other side of people like that, is beautiful and incredible souls who want to see you succeed. Just keep your head up, know the best things come from the worst things, that those fails are serving you, and don’t stop or take no for an answer. Usually if something doesn’t work out, it’s because the universe had bigger plans for you. But be smart. Document everything and only work, in every scenario imaginable, with contracts. If someone doesn’t want to give you a contract, they are likely not the kind of person who would honor one. Just keep looking for the right people. I’m not going to say I regret anything at this point in my life. But I did have a moment where I looked hard into my future and thought, this fashion company is just too risky. BUT, had I been successful in finding funding to start something new, one of my ideas, that solved a problem in a niche inside an industry I knew well, the future may have been more appealing to me to stay the course in that space, just with a pivot.
I urge women reading this to follow the advice of Cindy Gallop. Her advice in a Forbes interview with Carrie Kerpen was what a lot of us should take for the truth that it is. Use this as a jumpstart and light your fire. That fire we all will and deserve to feel the heat from.
“Take a long hard look around you at your industry...and identify what you think is missing, that you think should be there,” urges Gallop. “What has nobody yet done that you could bring to the table? What would you love there to exist that you could make exist? Identify the gap in the market—and there will be plenty of them in any industry where the default setting is male. So apply the female lens, apply the diverse lens...then begin road testing that idea.”
“We live in a world where the default setting is always male," Gallop continues. "Men have no idea how much happier they would be living and working in a world that was designed equally by all of us. And so what I urge women to do is to don’t worry about what you think the business world laid out before you looks like. Stop and ask yourself what would make you happy. And design that.”
“My personal philosophy is never waste your time banging your head against closed doors,” explains Gallop. “Instead, engineer yourself into a position where doors open automatically as you approach.” According to Gallop, our solution is simple: “Design the world that we want to live in. Because when we do that, the men will desperately want to be a part of that as well.” *4 https://www.forbes.com/sites/carriekerpen/2018/07/16/cindy-gallop-wants-you-to-build-the-world-you-want-to-live-in/#40a4332f5691
This advice is SO solid. Whenever you see success, you see that these companies are creating solutions to problems, or doing something better than the options that were available before them. And people who didn’t let the world tell them they’re a “dreamer”. The dreamers, at the end of the day, are the ones who create the world we live in, like it or not.
Lesson 3. It will not be easy. But it will be worth it. NOTHING, is easy. And when nothing is certain, everything is possible. But do find someone else’s money to grow it.
Don’t spend your entire life savings on ideas. If you do plan to invest your own capital, I would keep it under 5% of your net worth. [This is not a recommendation – my recommendation is spending next to nothing to start ideas but you do you.]
Look, you have a LOT of options for VC to take an idea to. Most startups need 30K to get started. 60% of entreprenurs use personal wealth to do that. *5 https://www.kauffman.org/currents/3-trends-that-prevent-entrepreneurs-from-accessing-capital/
This problem is much bigger than you could expect given that only 18% of new businesses get a bank loan and only .6% of all businesses raise VC Capital. Yes that is point.6%. So 81% of companies still don’t have access to capital. So this is systemic and hopefully congress is going to address this now especially with coronavirus strong holding our economy and job creation. But that’s all the more reason to think of solutions for problems in niches and to make sure you’re building for the future, that means with a tech feature and with diversity and ethics built into your company ethos.
https://www.kauffman.org/currents/3-trends-that-prevent-entrepreneurs-from-accessing-capital/
https://docs.house.gov/meetings/SM/SM27/20180724/108628/HHRG-115-SM27-Wstate-BairdR-20180724.pdf
https://smallbusiness.house.gov
So before you spend your own money, TRY to find an accelerator or a VC that will believe in you from the start. Funds like the January Fund actually urge women with ideas to cold email their ideas. They also state “We are women that have raised money and have been through the ups and downs of raising money in what is a very male-dominated world,” Neundorfer added. “We believe that investing in women is not only the right thing to do but that you can make a lot of money doing it.”
*6 https://www.january.ventures/contact-us
Lesson 4. If you don’t think your ideas matter, just think about the fact that we are the majority of the economy and college degrees. Women do most of the spending, caretaking, cooking, consuming of brands, and raising the next generations.
Women drive 83% of all U.S. consumption, through both buying power and influence, African Americans spend $1.2 trillion annually in the U.S. , Latinx consumers’ buying power is expected to reach , $1.7 trillion by 2020
The data at some point has to align with the companies that are being at least considered to be funded. As boards include women and minorities or people frustrated with the white old boys club start their own funds, the world will start to shift. Until then, we need to educate ourselves of the past. Specifically, for women, we lag in inventing in general. This PDF is incredible and will make you want to go back to the drawing boards for your ideas like stat.
*7 https://www.uspto.gov/sites/default/files/documents/Progress-and-Potential.pdf
So the problem with funding startups and women being encouraged to create ideas is systemic. But we can change this. We just need to know what we don’t know. It’s in our own belief system that we aren’t good enough or educated enough. But the problem is that we just don’t’ do it. In this incredible survey Progress and Potential; A profile of women inventors on US Patents, surveys show that “between 1978 and 1997, the share of patents with at least one female inven- tor nearly tripled from 5% to 14%. Such a rapid increase is reasonable consid- ering the share was quite low in the mid-1970s, making it easier to achieve high growth rates. Likewise, women’s opportunities to invent expanded rapidly as more women entered the labor force over the period.5 Since 1998, however, the share of patents with
at least one female inventor has only increased from 15% to 21%, suggest- ing the pace of entry into patenting by women has slowed.” “ Second, even though more patent inven- tor teams include women, the gender composition among all inventors has
not changed significantly. As shown by the women inventor rate (middle line in Figure 1), through the mid-1980s women comprised less than 5% of all patent inventors. The women inventor rate only reached 10% in 2000. And in 2016, more than a decade and a half later, only 12% of patent inventors were women.” It is widely recognized that many factors shape the opportunities for women to become patent inventors. Educational and occupational choices are two important influences.7 Historically, science and engineering fields produce the most patentable inventions (Marco et al., 2015). Naturally, when fewer women pursue careers
in science and engineering fields, they will make up a smaller share of patent inventors. “ “ In 2015, women made up about 28% of the total science and engineering work- force (all S&E occupations in Figure 2) but only 12% of inventors on granted patents (women inventor rate in Figure 2). Across nearly all science occupations, women participate at a much higher rate than they invent patented technology. It is only in engineering that women’s workforce participation rate (yellow, hollow circle line in Figure 2) resembles the overall women inventor rate. “ Observed gender differences among patent inventors reflect a wide variety of influences that ultimately shape the opportunities for men and women to become inventors. One such factor is educational background. Women make up 31% of science, engineering, technology, and mathematics (STEM) college graduates, even though they account for 60% of graduates across all degree fields (Munoz-Boudet, 2017). Within STEM fields, women comprise 18% of graduates in computer science and engineering versus 40% in life science. “
This matters because basically, women are smart enough to be inventors. Women just need to be in the right careers like in science tech, mathematics, and engineering. But with that being said, if you have an idea, you can always just meet with an engineer and collaborate! Why wait?! We need to improve the numbers on patents AND start ups and the way to do this is think, think hard, and then act. At times, the data can make us feel like maybe it’s not worth it. But then you have to think that these numbers used to be zero. Sure “women-led startups that did raise capital, on average, raised 36 times less money in 2017 than those founded by men, according to PitchBook Data Inc.” *8 https://www.forbes.com/sites/allysonkapin/2019/01/28/10-stats-that-build-the-case-for-investing-in-women-led-startups/#3584183059d5
BUT they still did raise. And that’s what matters. There is a plethora of what matters to invest in diverse start ups here. *9 https://ratemyinvestor.com/pdfjs/full?file=%2FDiversityVCReport_Final.pdf
Lesson 5. Know the data and know your worth. Come to all “parties”, packed with knowledge and numbers. Don’t ever let someone tell you that women don’t perform. We do. In fact, we outperform. AND find people smarter than you to grow your company with you.
Morgan Stanley conducted a study that showed that actually If VC firms stay homogenous and keep investing in people who look like them, they’ll get left behind. According to Morgan Stanley, they risk losing out on as much as $4 trillion on the table by not investing in women and other underrepresented entrepreneurs.” *10 https://www.morganstanley.com/ideas/venture-capital-funding-gap
The data shows 6 companies that had a woman or multicultural founder that paid off. HopStop had $2M in funding and sold to Apple for $1B. Duo Security raised $119.8M and sold for $2.3B, Sundial had $240M in expected revenue and is valued at $1B. Carol’s Daughter raised $18M and sold to L’Oreal for an estimated $100M, Lastly Nextdoor raised $408M and valued at $2.1B. Ok, yes a lot of these have a male partner. So cool, invent something and then take the smartest and most open minded, hard working male you know and head to the races.
So it’s now just a matter of time. And also women and minorities MUST ask for fair and equal equity. It’s not just about a pay gap in these roles. It’s about equity. Listen to guest Eva on the podcast about Start ups. She had a very not fun experience learning that the guys who started with her first company the same time and qualifications as she did, had higher equity cuts, just because they ASKED for more than she did. *11 https://www.morganstanley.com/content/dam/msdotcom/mcil/Morgan_Stanley_Beyond_the_VC_Funding_Gap_2019_Report.pdf
Here is an article from Forbes siting stats for the case for investing in women led startups. * 12 https://www.forbes.com/sites/allysonkapin/2019/01/28/10-stats-that-build-the-case-for-investing-in-women-led-startups/#3584183059d5
“All the data shows that women-led startups, on average, have better ROI when invested in. Due to the paltry amount of investments currently going to women-led startups, investors now have an enormous market opportunity to invest in many of the most innovative ventures, which just happen to be led by women, and make billions of dollars. So if you work with investment associates on your team, tape yellow sticky notes to their laptops so they never forget this money-making data.
1. Private technology companies led by women are more capital-efficient, achieving 35% higher ROI, and, when venture-backed, 12% higher revenue than startups run by men, according to the Kauffman Foundation.
2. Women founded companies in First Round Capital’s portfolio outperformed companies founded by men by 63%.
3. In a study of over 350 startups, Mass Challenge and BCG determined that businesses founded by women deliver higher revenue—more than 2 times as much per dollar invested—than those founded by men, making women-owned companies better investments for financial backers. The authors calculated that VCs could have made an additional $85 million over five years if they’d just invested equally in both the women- and men-founded startups.
4. Despite the severe funding gap, startups founded and cofounded by women actually performed better over time, generating 10% more in cumulative revenue over a five-year period, according to BCG.
5. Companies in the MSCI World Index with strong women leadership generated a Return on Equity of 10.1% per year versus 7.4% for those without strong women leadership, according to MSCI ESG Research.
6. “Women-owned businesses are growing much faster than all businesses. From 2007 to 2018, women-owned businesses grew by 58% in terms of the number of firms and 46% in terms of revenue,” according to American Express research advisor Geri Stengel. “What’s driving these numbers are women of color. Women of color over that same period of time are starting businesses at a much faster rate. The number of firms owned by African-American women has grown by 164% since 2007.”
7. There is a strong and statistically significant correlation between the diversity of management teams and overall innovation. Companies that reported above-average diversity on their management teams also reported innovation revenue that was 19 points higher than that of companies with below-average leadership diversity—45% of total revenue versus just 26%. And Gallup, found that more diverse companies have 22 percent lower turnover rates. Less staff turnover creates a stronger company which aids company growth immensely.
8. Latinx women-owned businesses saw more than 87% growth between 2007 and 2012, according to Project Diane.
9. Women were the sole or majority owners of an estimated 12.3 million U.S. businesses at the beginning of 2018, and were starting additional businesses at a rate of more than 1,800 (net) per day, according to “The 2018 State of Women-Owned Businesses Report,” commissioned by American Express.
10. According to Golden Seeds, many women-led startups are led by serial entrepreneurs bringing a wealth of experience to companies that need to scale quickly. In 2017, serial entrepreneurs were 1/3 of the women-led companies in which Golden Seed’ network invested, marking a significant shift. “
Lesson 6. I am here for you. Know the resources. Meet the funds.
If you have something you’re interested in, I’m always willing to help you. You can always reach out to me for advice or mentoring. The ladies at LaunchPop, who inspired this article, have made a business out of incubating start-ups by diverse founders. There are tons of accelerators and incubators today. There are a bunch of VCs with female board members AND who focus on female start ups. Find the right partners for you. And don’t always take the first offer, men don’t, and people respect people who know their own value. But don’t’ be inflated, we’ve all seen what can happen on Shark Tank when people have an attitude. Having a permanent positive attitude with a large amount of intelligence and good numbers to support you will always serve you. The internet is your best friend. When you’re ready, here is a list of a bunch of VCs who may consider you. Build slow, but steadily. And be strong. Very very very strong. Soft power is everything. Just don’t forget the power part.
It’s still a white man’s world in VC. “Only 9.65% of decision-makers at U.S. venture capital firms are women.” Says Axios. *13 https://www.axios.com/venture-capital-women-tech-diversity-29c3f2f0-2d1e-4ec5-b542-7878ab149d45.html BUT, that’s so much better than just a few years ago when I tried my hand at “raising” VC partnership. So, I guess, the point is let’s get real but also get smart. If you’re not into starting a start up, becoming a female executive at a VC is not only a great idea, but you don’t have to take nearly the amount of exams that you do to be institutional and I think it sounds very fun. Although, let’s get one thing clear, it’s very much still a whitewashed mans world, and we need to change that.
Remember what Eva Chan said on the podcast about her company. They look for people who take their ideas very seriously. “There is no shortage of opportunity. Or distraction. So I challenge you to commit. To something, anything, but just commit.” Eva says. There is still a lot we are up against. Women of color have it the hardest in this space, but with the right partner by your side, you can and will overcome. There is also a lot going for you now, more than when I tried, by miles. Hopefully in 10 years the growth here will be exponential. Make sure you’re confident, with a great idea and market reserach and willing to give it a piece of your soul. Above all else, take the chance. Who knows where it could lead you. Hopefully right into the American Dream and to effecting change for the planet and all our Seastars. Good luck!
https://www.inc.com/magazine/201810/kimberly-weisul/female-founders-funding-guide.html : “
1. Amplifyher Ventures
New York City
Started in October by Tricia Black, who was formerly the vice president of ad sales at Facebook, Amplifyher says it is fully financed to make 10-15 investments of $100,000 to $300,000 in the next three years. Steering the investments with Black will be Meghan Cross Breeden, who was formerly a managing partner at Red Bear Angels. The fund says most of its investments will probably be in New York or Boston.
2. Backstage Capital
West Hollywood, Calif.
In May, when Backstage Capital founder Arlan Hamilton announced the formation of a $36 million fund to invest in black women, she was surprised at the reaction. "They're calling it a diversity fund," she tweeted. "I'm calling it an IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME fund." That new fund is her second; her first is investing $5 million. Hamilton has now invested $4 million of that in 100 entrepreneurs who are women, people of color, and/or members of the LGBTQ community--including the founders of Tinsel, BeVisible, Blendoor, and Uncharted Power.
3. BBG Ventures
New York City
BBG ("Built by Girls") began in 2014 as a $10 million fund started by AOL to invest in consumer internet and mobile startups that have at least one female founder. Helmed by former Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia CEO Susan Lyne, it's still following that mission, but now AOL is part of Oath. BBG's check sizes are generally $100,000 to $250,000, and it does not take board seats at the businesses it invests in. So far, BBG's portfolio companies include Glamsquad, goTenna, and HopSkipDrive.
4. Belle Capital USA
Detroit
Belle Capital is the successor to Phenomenelle Angels, both of which were started by Lauren Flanagan. All of Belle's limited partners are women. The fund focuses on Michigan and other areas that don't attract a lot of venture capital. Check sizes range from $100,000 to $1.5 million, and the fund prefers companies with $1 million or more in revenue. It's invested in Vital Vio, Digsite, and NopSec, among others.
5. Bumble Fund
Austin
Whitney Wolfe Herd is adamant about putting women at the center of her business. Bumble, her matchmaking app, requires women to make the first move. Eighty-five percent of the company's employees are women. In August, Herd announced she'd be putting women at the center of her business in another way: She launched Bumble Fund to invest in women founders. Herd has not disclosed the size of the fund, saying she didn't want to wait until she had a large fund to begin making investments. The fund will invest in early-stage companies, and has already made commitments to Beautycon, Mahmee, and Sofia Los Angeles.
6. Female Founders Fund
New York City
Entrepreneur Anu Duggal created Female Founders Fund in 2014 to make early-stage investments in women-led companies. Her first fund was about $6 million and took stakes in around 30 companies. This year, Female Founders raised a second fund, for $27 million, with investors including Melinda Gates, Stitch Fix founder Katrina Lake, and Rent the Runway co-founder Jenny Fleiss. The fund's investments include Zola, Maven Clinic, and Tala. Female Founders Fund also tracks the venture investments that are going to women-led companies across the U.S.
7. Golden Seeds
New York City, Atlanta, Boston, Houston, Dallas, Silicon Valley
Golden Seeds was one of the first angel groups to invest exclusively in women-led companies. It's now one of the biggest and best-known, with headquarters in New York City and chapters in five other locations. Golden Seeds also runs three venture funds and has invested more than $100 million since 2005. Its portfolio companies include Poshly, Tot Squad, and Cognition Therapeutics.
8. Intel Capital Diversity Fund
Santa Clara, Calif.
At $125 million, Intel's is the largest diversity fund, and has been since it launched in 2015. The fund invests broadly in what it calls "underrepresented tech entrepreneurs"--women, minorities, people with disabilities, LGBTQ entrepreneurs, and veterans. The fund's investments include Brit + Co, Venafi, and Vidcode.
9. January VC
Cleveland and London
January VC launched in October with a $2 million fund. It's looking to write checks of between $25,000 and $150,000. Unlike most funds, January VC says it's perfectly fine if you're not connected--they'll seriously consider cold pitches that come in over the transom. The idea is that this will help them find entrepreneurs who live outside of entrepreneurial hotspots, who are underrepresented, or who just don't have the kind of backgrounds that would lead to chummy relationships with rich folks. So far, the fund has backed ProFormex and Hatch Apps.
10. JumpStart Focus Fund
Cleveland
The JumpStart Focus Fund is a $10 million fund for women and minority entrepreneurs. It comes out of the powerhouse accelerator and economic development hub JumpStart, which is based in Cleveland and aims to support entrepreneurs in Ohio--or those who are willing to move there. It's looking to invest in entrepreneurs working in medical technology, software, advanced materials, aero propulsion power management, fuel cells/energy storage, sensing/automation technologies, situational awareness/surveillance systems, and solar photovoltaics.
11. Merian Ventures
San Francisco and London
At $100 million, Merian is one of the largest funds to invest solely in women, but it still invests at the earliest stages: seed and Series A. Its investments are split pretty evenly between the U.S. and the U.K., and it searches for companies in cyber technologies, artificial intelligence, machine learning, and consumer-facing technologies essential to the Internet of Things.
12. New Voices Fund
Amityville, N.Y.
When Richelieu Dennis sold his Sundial Brands to Unilever late last year, the deal came with an unusual stipulation: Unilever and Sundial would set up a venture fund to invest in entrepreneurs who are women of color. On July 9, Dennis officially launched the $100 million New Voices Fund. The fund will invest from seed stage to Series C, and concentrate on consumer, technology, and media/entertainment companies. New Voices, which is structured as a B Corp, has invested in Beauty Bakerie, Beautycon Media, Envested, and McBride Sisters Wines.
13. Portfolia
Menlo Park, Calif.
By using a unique capital structure for her funds--each one has a maximum of 249 investors and $10 million to invest--Portfolia founder Trish Costello is focusing on turning more high-net-worth women into seed investors. So far, Portfolia has funds in categories such as active aging and femtech, with a total of $6 million under management. Investments include Joylux, UnaliWear, and RenovoRx.
14. Rethink Impact
Washington, D.C., New York City, San Francisco
Led by Jenny Abramson and launched in 2017, Rethink Impact is one of the newer funds to invest solely in women. But with $112 million in its coffers, it also may be the largest. (Intel Capital's Diversity Fund also invests in people of color and other underrepresented groups.) The fund's investors include Sheila Johnson, co-founder of Black Entertainment Television, and Sachiko Kuno, who has co-founded two drug companies. Abramson and her colleagues are looking for women-led tech companies that also intend to have a significant and positive social impact. Rethink typically makes an investment at the Series A stage. Its portfolio companies include Seedling, Neurotrack, and Werk.”
https://fortune.com/2020/02/07/venture-capital-women-diversity/ : “
Halogen Ventures: Based in Los Angeles, Halogen Ventures invests in female-founded consumer tech at the seed and Series A stage. Owner Jesse Draper gained experience dealing with early stage and later stage technologies after hosting the ‘The Valley Girl Show,’ which was actually about technology.
Urban Innovation Fund: Managed by Clara Brenner, The Urban Innovation Fund focuses on entrepreneurs who want to literally shape cities and solve urban challenges. They specialize in startups involving transportation, energy, resources and sustainability, housing, education and workforce, health and public safety, business and financial services, government and civic tech, arts and recreation, and food systems.
Glasswing Ventures: Focusing on companies using AI for enterprise platforms and cybersecurity markets, Glasswing Ventures provides funding during the pre-seed and seed stages of a startup. Founder and Managing Partner Rudina Seseri built up a credible reputation dealing with technology investments and acquisitions in her 16 years of investing and transacting in this business.
Fika Ventures: Specializing in businesses involving enterprise/B2B/Saas, financial tech, marketplaces, and health IT, Fika Ventures was founded by general partners Eva Ho and TX Zhuo. With Fika, a Swedish word, literally meaning to sit down for coffee with someone, this company likes to hone companies that value people skills. They also often invite previous startups they have supported to invest in new startups.
SoGal Ventures: SoGal Ventures invests in consumer tech, enterprise software, and health tech startups looking for funding in the pre-seed to Series A stages. With bases in New York, Singapore and China, founding partner Elizabeth Galbut and Pocket Sun rely on networking to fund their investments.
112Capital: Founder and Managing Partner Shelley Zhuang says 112Capital likes to focus on “deep-tech” companies, those that like to make strides in AI, AR, robotics, space, and data-driven health technologies. Founders must have a solid grasp of market size and explain what makes their product/service unique.
500 Startups: What makes 500 Startups different from venture capital investors previously mentioned? Venture partner Tanya Soman says 500 Startups is particularly interested in retail, beauty, and fashion innovation solutions. In addition to providing funding for female entrepreneurs, 500 Startups also invests in startups founded by LGBTQ+ and other diverse founders.
Aspect Ventures: Other investors focus on startups in their earlier stages, but Aspect Ventures serves those seeking funding between the seed and late stages. Led by Jennifer Fonstad and Theresia Gouw, this firm emphasizes providing funds for female entrepreneurs with startups involved in security, digital health, financial, AI, autonomous vehicle mobile technology, Saas, and healthcare technology.
Built By Girls Ventures: As opposed to deep or hard tech, BBG Ventures likes to support startups with ideas on how technology can make women’s lives “simpler, better, more delightful.” This investor is run by President and Founding Partner Susan Lyne and partner Nisha Dua.
Boulder Food Group: Another investor that doesn’t cater exclusively to women (although it counts them as majority of their partnerships), the Boulder Food Group led by Founder and Managing Partner Tom Spier and Managing Partner Dayton Miller likes to prioritize companies that focus on food. They are currently involved in the large and growing food categories business.”
https://theriveter.co/voice/female-venture-capitalists/ :
17 Female Venture Capitalists Changing the Future of Work
Money Tip 003 - The true cheap cost of clothes is your retirement… the planet and bad style.
Nothing in this post is a recommendation.
Fashion is about human expression by way of the style you create, through the clothes you wear; not how much money you spend on it or what label it carries.
Who here has patted themselves on the back after a slay day at one of the major fast fashion clothing stores? H&M, Forever 21, Zara, whatever chain, pick your literal poison. Every North American woman reading this, has surely dragged some man, also possibly reading this, around these endless stores not once but many times in the last 15 years. Forever on the hunt for their next fully loaded, disposable wardrobe. Well, I’m here to free you from that short lived gratification and waste of your precious resources.
First, we must address style. Style is optional. But it shouldn’t be. For me, for the longest time, a woman who lacked style was the result of not just a lack of effort but a lack of female role models. Your’e telling me you can’t find one family member who is doing it right? One movie star you like the way she’s doing it? One single person in all of humanity to appeals to you to emulate? It pointed to a lack of effort towards looking interesting for other people. A sacrifice that made the rest of the world suffer. But now, we are long past workout clothes as day wear. It seems women, even “fashionistas” are just automated robots. No one looks…unique. The self expression tailored off of beautiful icons we desire to radiate to our posse… seems to be a lost art. Something only reserved for the elite or educated in the field. But that is ridiculous!
Style is one of my areas of expertise and a lifelong passion I will never be done with. I spent 15 years in the fashion industry and hold a bachelors degree in fashion design. I have made every article of clothing you can imagine. I studied costume design as a minor. I have dressed my college friends up in wooly mammoth leg warmers, repeatedly, with matching dresses, friends and family in wedding dresses (6 wedding dresses so far), and created countless outfits for myself and clients. I reported for Examiner.com on hundreds of fashion shows, and while that is behind me, I still watch the collections [at least haute couture which is the art that is supposed to influence every one else] every season. So, when I tell you I KNOW fashion, I kid you not. But when I tell you that I can count just a small number of icons, the people who’s style I admire and try to emulate, I am also very serious. That is because style takes REFINEMENT and DEDICATION and FOCUS. 3 character traits that are as rare of a find as style these days! We need to do better, even if it is just for our own wellbeings. And as you will see, this matters. Style is one part of life where I urge you to be…fastidious, unmerciful, devoted and decisive. Because THIS can save you MONEY! And this can be a way to open doors to the world you dream of.
Now, knowing how you want to express yourself to the world, think about what fashion icons you will emulate. What do you want to say through your appearance? And what will make shopping short, easy and often effortless? Creating your own style will come from this alone. It will make shopping in stores virtually impossible, and it will rid you of the urge to compulsively buy and still not feel like you’re any closer to a successful wardrobe. Let me explain.
If you put any of these names into google with the word fashion, you will see why I chose many of these icons. My image and fashion icons are Hedy Lamar, Marie Antoinette, Eiko Ishoioka, Bjork, Grace Jones, Amelia Earhart, Tina Weymouth, Eartha Kitt, Twiggy, Cher, Naomi Campbell, Frida Kahlo, Eykah Badu, Jackie O, Madonna, and Sophia Loren. I also love and listen to reggae and Bob Marley every day. The images of the Female Samurai Warrior Of The Upper Bushi*1 are like… everything. Now, that makes for some weird but well curated and directed taste! And it’s me. It’s unique and explains a lot of my style. It grows on itself. I suggest finding cultures and eras that speak to you as well. Mine are Japanese modern and 1800s, French late 1700s, American 1920s, 30’s, and 1960s (and I did the 90s the first time around like a boss), along with anything sci-fi or futuristic that is done “well” and not just barely covering a females private parts - boring! I love Italian women’s style as well. They are classy and sexual and while they do not take themselves seriously, their fashion is dead serious. It’s a beautiful dare in fashion that I urge American women to make more often without straight up wearing a bra with a trendy pj set in public.
Who and what are your icons and eras? Think about it. Give the list some room to grow, but really think about why and how you add people to the list. The WHY defines the WHAT that you also want to express and adhere to. Find women who also did things that inspire you and look at how they dressed.*1 Most people would say why the heck do you pick Amelia Earhart, and that’s because she was practical. She dressed up, but in mens fashion. I love that. And I love her accomplishments. I LOVE a woman in a suit and a tie who is still feminine. To me, there is soft power in that. STYLE IS SOFT POWER. It says things without saying anything out loud, which I have always loved about it.
When you get your style outline, then, go ahead and be ruthless. As women we don’t get to act like this often, so do it here. Make this an expression! Just don't let other people tell you who to be. Use inspiration and create it for yourself. Don’t buy anything because it is a “trend" and looks good on some 15-18 year old girl who has a big following or some designer hired because her mom was a model or famous coke head. How cliche is that? While also being gross and bad for the Earth?! Buy something because it will be one of your best expressions of your personality to the world. Because in it, you will also be part of your icon.
Wearing clothes everyday is a gift to others. For a long time I tried to dress “perfect”, long after my crazy college fashion designing days. And that didn’t serve me, or my wallet. So the point is, look enough to find, buy a little, and buy nice things. Treat them with love and respect, honor your things. And, don't buy tons of nice things. No matter how rich you are, you only need so much. And that money can be working elsewhere accumulating income for you. So treat yourself and buy one thing every once in a while to build a wardrobe around for yourself. A wardrobe is a group of clothing that interchanges to express your inner most beauty to the outside world and can be handed down in it’s entirety to one of the luckiest little humans on the planet. A closet is generally a mist mash of clothes that makes little sense and produces 70 lbs of waste every year. Buy only the things you will pass to your children or nieces or your heir. If you need staples, source them from ethical and sustainable brand, otherwise, stick to second hand that depict your style. Think of it as a treasure hunt. Spend the little more for higher quality and morals. You will only cry once at these prices, instead of the 5-15 times you will have to keep buying something that falls apart or goes out of trend style.
Now, for the good part that will really change your life. Let’s talk about MONEY and fashion. Do you know that “the apparel business is a $12 Billion industry and the average American family spends $1700 on clothes annually according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. In 1930, the average woman owned 9 outfits. Today that figure is 30 outfits.” And if you are any of my friends you’re well into the infinite outfits or let’s just round it off at 300 outfits. “The road to bankrupt is paved with good deals.” *2
What is fascinating about that article is that they go on to mention that “The Self Storage Association reports that Americans spend $24 Billion each year to store their stuff. Last part of this, OnePoll found that women spend more than100 hours on 30 trips to shop for clothes, 15 hoe shopping excursions, and full 50 hours per year window shopping.”*2 This is NUTS! Madness. Sheer stupidity. And I myself am victim of it. What a waste. Do you know how many female owned start ups that equates to? Hundreds of thousands if not millions. Ladies, let’s agree to team up and just stop. Listen to this podcast with Gabriella Smith on why to just stop buying fast fashion and if you are really smart you can spend ALL that time starting a company or spend that time in caring for your spirit, or best yet- investing and learning more about money and financial wellness!
If you still need more reasons to stop shopping like it is a disorder untreated, let’s just do some simple math. Let’s say you spend $3000 a year on clothes, which for MANY of you reading this is realistic. Let’s just say you stop doing that. You decide to spend half of that on items you will cherish.
So you put 5K as an initial deposit into an investment account. You contribute $125 (your old disposable fashion budget) and get 7% interest on your money. In 25 years you will have….wait for it….$125,017. Wait, ummm what? Yes, You can buy an investment property, rent it out, and get some kind of income for the rest of your life because you broke up with fast fashion at 30 years old. Congratulations, you’re now adulting like the smart human you actually are. Let’s take this one step further. Let’s say you make a budget. You now find another $125 your dripping for useless crap that you don’t need and are not essential and doesn’t bring you joy. You now have $262,049. WTF?! Use this calculator. Compounded interest is your friend. Become very close to this, repeat it as a mantra, use it to remind yourself that having style now, provides for your tomorrow. Create style. Stop shopping.
Now, you say, I don’t care about style. I just want to be a fashion robot. Cool. Do you by doing everyone else. And if you absolutely need that item, then fine, buy it. BUT only after you watch and read up on what you’re participating in. Watch the True Cost. Do you really want to own something that was created by children or slaves or resulted with farmer suicide? Do you really want to pollute rivers that people have to live off of and bathe in? Watch the documentaries. How many more people must die so you can buy cheap clothing? 1,100 people died in Rana Plaza in Bangladesh because of unsafe conditions in 2013. Today, YEARS later, factories still collapse all the time. Workers making our cheap clothing are not safe. So when you say, well they wouldn’t have jobs. Then I must retort with, yes, but at least they would have their life.
It is time to take the blindfold off and educate yourself about what is going on and to become a conscious shopper. I am here to help you. If you pay the premium for items that are representative of YOUR style, you will treat that garment better, and in turn it will bring you more joy. Once you start doing this you can then start being like your idols. You can get busy building on your style and free your time so that you can focus on yourself where you deserve it; growing your love, money, or health.
I have had a love affair with fashion that lasted longer than most, and will always linger, but at some point, the truth must be accepted about where we stand in the world of fashion and I am a messenger or reminder of the good ol’ plain truth. Fashion is about human expression by way of the style you create through the clothes you wear, not how much money you spend or what label it carries. Everything else is just to manipulate you into buying something and playing on how you feel about yourself. Remember that. And please, be yourself, because everyone else…is honestly just looking like everyone else!!
Be unique. That is the soul of fashion. 70% of the rivers and lakes in Chia contaminated by 2.5 billion gallons of wastewater produced by the textile industry*5 is NOT fashion. That is genocide. And you’re funding it. Pay attention. The time is RIGHT. NOW.
FILMS TO EDUCATE YOURSELF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyysJFGh5Hc
SWEATSHOP 2: HUNT FOR A LIVING WAGE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62hzRLrXvwY
BITTER SEEDS (Every 30 minutes a farmer in India Kills himself)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVPkAH9TCRU
https://www.boredpanda.com/women-who-changed-history/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2012/nov/25/bangladesh-textile-factory-fire and https://ethicsunwrapped.utexas.edu/video/collapse-at-rana-plaza
https://www.ecowatch.com/fast-fashion-riverblue-2318389169.html
MONEY TIP 002 - Any trauma can affect your money.
Your net worth does not and will never define your character. Similarly, the tough parts of life that you’ve endured should not be defining you, or continuing to hurt or limit you. These limiting beliefs can sabotage our lives and financial wellness, so they’re worth examining and evolving, ASAP.
[Nothing in this post is a recommendation.]
Something as small as a room full of people laughing at you as a child could plant some very deep seeds to a feeling of shame and fear that can affect your relationship with money. There is something called the Law of Resonance that Chantel Chapman taught me about on our podcast that has been helping me explore this aspect of our lives, that we all deal with. This Law of Resonance is fascinating. And it works directly with the Law of Attraction. In fact, the law of attraction cannot work without it! If something is resonating deep down in your subconscious, it will block you in ways that you might not even notice. In very real and physical ways. I think we all know that feeling. The feeling of wanting and working towards something and nothing gives. Well, maybe there is a reason. Most of our parents didn’t tell us growing up that “Everything always turns out right.” But the truth is, it does if you let it. And the bad stuff IS teaching us things we needed to learn. No matter how awful, it can serve us, if we let it. The beautiful awful truth is that if you aren’t getting something you desire and are working towards, that is physically or spiritually within our laws of science, then you probably don’t think you actually deserve that thing, whatever it may be. Likely, it is a belief system you picked up from some shitty thing you went through and are subconsciously clinging to. Well, I’m here to tell you to stop doing that, and that it is very possible to change your limiting belief systems by doing some basic energy work to remove these blocks. Let’s re-empower our attraction abilities together. Wouldn't that be fun and a good use of time?! It’s been working for me. Let’s explore this more together.
We, as humans, have come SO far. But also, we are very held back and blind to this fleeting thing called happiness or “self love”. These are very simple concepts. To go through life in a state of joy or even ecstasy, receiving the many daily blessings we do encounter, should not be so challenging. Yet for many people, we just cannot seem to hold onto a feeling of worthiness. Why? Well… it’s complicated. There are a few things at play. One is this pesky thing called existence. Or more accurately; experiences. Experiences that sucked so bad we replay them in our head for years. The things that, for a long time, we wish didn’t happen.
We all have different pillars of trauma in our lives. Chantel Chapman describes 6 of them to us on the podcast. The ones that resonated with me the most were inherited and also physical traumas. Let’s discuss inherited first. As a1st generation American from my dad’s side (he was British), and 2nd on my mother’s side (she’s Italian), I inherited a lot of “things” and belief systems that I realize now as an adult, need to be removed. PRONTO.
Firstly, the belief that you have to work yourself to death to be successful; That’s just simply not true. In fact, more and more science is showing that people who take good care of themselves, prioritize health to wealth first, and take a lighthearted attitude (my toughest challenge), actually earn more, faster, AND live longer. “A healthy body provides resources needed for being more effective in generating greater revenue and enjoying personal time.”*1
So there’s that going against me. Also, I inherited a belief system that Money defines you. What did you inherit as a limiting money belief system? For me, the reality is that my net worth does NOT and never will define my character. Having a parent who did this, was incredibly damaging to my relationship with money. It made me afraid of it, of what it would make me into, of who it could hurt in the process. I watched that same parent’s belief in good disappear when he lost all of the money. “Workaholism, the addiction to work, is often treated as a positive in today’s world. .. A new study find that workaholics are two to three times more likely to have OCD, ADHD, depression, and/or anxiety.” Essentially the workaholic’s child is caught in a contradiction. Others see you as lucky. Yet your "“luck” applies only to the material aspect of life. On the emotional levee, which is what really matters with parents, you are anyhing but lucky. .. Children from these examples are at higher risk for several psychological diagnoses themlselves.” *2. And there are now studies and workshops like The Trauma of Money that teach us that these kinds of traumas, effect our relationship to money! Almost a duh. But good to hear. Research your traumas and face those facts of how they could be affecting you. Do. The. Work. and Reap. The. Rewards!
Now, let’s look at physical trauma since it runs rampant through our society. “1 in 5 women in the United States and 1 in 71 men in the US have been raped at some time in their life”3. The numbers appear to be closer to 1 in 3 for any kind of sexual assault in North America. Now, that is just nuts. I mean, the fact that this many people suffer from sexual trauma is just unacceptable. What the hell is going on? And how do we fix it? Well, first, we have to learn that when someone violates you, it can have lasting effects, not just physically but also economically. “Physical and psychological trauma can diminish quality of life, and survivors incur significant economic costs in the immediate aftermath of an assault and across their lifespan.”*4. So what they’re telling us is to not get assaulted and if you do that is gong to cost you a LOT. So when it happens to you, you should NOT just suck it up. The reality of the matter is that most of the time when this happens there is so much fear and shame that it doesn’t go spoken about for years. Concreting limiting beliefs in our subconscious. Limiting beliefs that are attacking our happiness and affecting our bank accounts. So, time to change. First, find someone SAFE to talk to and speak up if something has happened to you. I once made the mistake of telling someone I was dating who was abusive what happened to me and it only made it work. So go to your safe place. If you have suffered a fair amount of abuse, it’s likely you’re in an abusive relationship, so please analyze that first. Then act. You have nothing to be ashamed of, clearly you are not alone (1 IN 5 for rape 1 IN 3 for sexual violations), and the sooner you get help and get comfortable with what happened to you and allow it to serve a bigger picture, the sooner you can stop limiting your life and abundance.
Now, next fascinating topic is just good old straight up Fiancial PTSD which Dr. Galen Buckwalter talks about on Goop. This $hit is so legit it actually hurts when you realize you’ve got it. “Financial PTSD is the physical, emotionally and cognitive deficits people experience when they cannot cope with either abrupt financial loss or the chronic stress of having inadequate financial resources. For long-term change in your financial status, one either has to make more money or spend less—that’s it. Taking out another credit card won’t work. But to change your earnings or your spending takes an incredible amount of self-discipline, concentration, positive self-esteem, etc., all of which are in short supply in someone with financial PTSD.” I’d go so far as to say this is hard for ANYONE with ANY kid of PTSD.
“I always encourage people with financial PTSD to first work on themselves before trying to reshape their relationship with money.” Dr. Buckwalter advises. *5
SO! Where to go from here?… Deep deep inside. It is time to uncover and release. It is time to be brave, face your experiences, self, family, friends, foes, past, present, feared future, and free yourself from anything that ever happened to you, conditioning within society, people who told or did wrongs to you, and basically just let go. You are allowed to attract. And in order to do that, you must believe that. Time to learn, identify, face the facts, be brave and then, yes, meditate. I have personally found meditation and energy work to be key to removing blocks. It has actually changed my life. I find that very few of my many neurosis are remaining, those that are are stubborn but still, I’m hopeful to remove what isn’t serving me any longer. I do attract now all that I want and it’s nothing short of a miracle to watch life open up once you’re willing to accept certain beliefs that you held as true as no longer so and to release them. I encourage the practice and if for nothing else, try it for your brain health. This fascinating scientific study Forever Young(er0: Potential age defying effects of long term meditation on gray matter atrophy states that “Our findings seem to add further support to the hypothesis that meditation is brain-protective and associated with a reduced age-related tissue decline.” *6. We mediate on my IG page every Monday at 6pm. There is power in group prayer and meditation and I urge you to join. We focus on resonance, abundance, and attraction.
The world is full of distractions. The one thing that matters is you. So this week, and all your weeks, try putting you as the focus. Spend some time with yourself, explore your traumas, try to see where maybe you’re holding onto blocks, and then work on releasing that. Pay attention to your daily thoughts. Once we make changes to the daily thought process we can start to watch our lives change. But first, we must get silent and pay attention to ourselves. I used to use the term “grind and shine.” But the reality is shine needs to come first. And now I just remove grind because life doesn’t have to be so hard. Now I like to use the term SHINE AND RISE. You need to Shine before you Rise up in your day. Rise into your financial wellness and responsibilties. Take time to love yourself, work out, put good nutrients into your temples, SHINE, and surround yourself with positive people and thoughts daily, and then Rise onto your work in the world. It’s hard to shine after the grind of daily life. But the grind is so much easier if you’ve given yourself a little shine. And it’s also so much better when you see life as a blessing and not a burden. And you do deserve this mindset. You just have to believe you do, and then put yourself first day after day. You got this!
Some fascinating continued reads for this topic are
Follow @ChantelChapman first of all because she will give you many reminders on all her pages.
https://newprairiepress.org/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1174&context=jft
https://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/trauma-destructive-financial-choices-1264.php
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/08/the-paradox-of-the-workaholics-child/
https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics and https://www.who.int/violence_injury_prevention/violence/global_campaign/en/chap6.pdf
https://femchat-iwpr.org/2017/06/28/the-financial-cost-of-rape/
https://goop.com/wellness/career-money/are-you-struggling-with-financial-ptsd/
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01551/full
![MONEY TIP 001 - The Gender Gap is [STILL] Real.](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ea452bca6f02d51ed56b364/1601522459779-ID1FQ4FI83C8FT9DVDNK/Gender-Pay-Gap-1170x650.jpg)
MONEY TIP 001 - The Gender Gap is [STILL] Real.
It all begins with an idea.
Nothing in this post is a recommendation.
“On average, women employed full time in the United States lose a combined total of more than $916 billion every year due to the wage gap. … Less than 1/3 of women believe they are paid fairly. Just 28 percent of U.S. working women say they are confident they are paid the same as their male counterparts.” National Partnership for Women & Families.
See links at bottom of blog.
HERE’S THE THING YOU MIGHT ALREADY KNOW; Women are different than men. Here’s what you might NOT know. Women work a large part of their lifetime FOR FREE. Women work an average of 7 YEARS (*1) outperforming men in household, and caregiving work. This disproportionate, unpaid workload costs us real dollars, lifestyle, income, and comfort. With this $431,360 unearned by many women in the United States, you could buy 2 homes, 14 cars, put all this money to earn interest for your retirement, earn 7 four year college degrees at a state school OR feed a family of 4 for 37 years. Tell us quick! How do we fix this?! ASAP?!!! Women must demand pay transparency and work at companies with pay transparency. Women must step into leadership roles. Ask for more pay, raise hand repeatedly for promotions, and stay informed. And above all, don’t take no for an answer. We make up more than half of the work force at 57%. We have more power than we use.
It is shocking to see the disparities in the work force and that the gender gap is real in almost every country on Earth. In the US, the sited gender pay gap is that women make 82 pennies for every $1 a man earns. The uncontrolled pay gap is 79 cents and the controlled pay gap is 98 cents. Meaning that the measured median salary changes for men and women with and without the same job qualifications. Still, the majority of women can’t actually utilize the resource of pay transparency to be confident that they are indeed making the same as male counterparts. If you are a minority it drops lower than that gap significantly and gets wider as you get older. The most controlling factor is that women are less likely to hold senior rolls. With more women in executive and board seats, the more transparency can be demanded. But this requires women to lead as women, not as women impersonating men. The statistic that I hold closest to my heart is that “65% of Venture Capital firms still have zero female partners, which makes funding female companies more challenging than for males.” (*2) I personally felt the effects of this when I tried to raise money for my own start up back in 2011 and again in 2014. “Since the public launch of our organization in 2018, we have seen a 4% improvement in the percentage of female decision-makers in VC, from 9% to 13%” Medium reviewed in their article (*2) below. Finance seems to be one industry where women still have the largest gap while pharmacists seem to be the closest to men, earning 99 cents for every dollar a man earns in the same role with the same qualifications.
So, ladies. It’s time to make SMART career choices, pick companies, industries, and roles wisely and grow our confidence so that when we stand up and ask for promotions, they agree that it is time for a change. If you haven’t listened to the podcast with Stef Caldwell, please do. She discusses how raising her hand for a promotion, essentially launched her side hustle Manifest Her, which is now changing lives for hundreds of ambitious women.
Women must fill roles of leadership to effect this change faster. We, literally, can not afford another 40 years of this situation. Think if we had a $1T fund to invest in women’s start ups from all of the money we don’t get currently. Imagine all the lives that would change, save, and assist. Imagine how much good it could do, to reach this goal. The change is happening, is irreversible and it is for us to push on through. WE MUST RAISE OUR HADS AND LEARN TO ASK for the raises, the jobs, the roles we want AND DESERVE. We must find jobs in industries that are closing the gap and that have the growing number of jobs we can participate in accelerating at. If we join an industry that has a larger gap, we must be strong and persist, but not settle for less for too long. I work in an industry where the gap is widest. How do we change that? We grow and ask. We step into the roles we know we can do but have been conditioned for lifetimes to be afraid of earning. We must educate ourselves on the realities of our work, the amount of money our employers see fair to pay us versus men in the same roles, and the equally split the responsibilities we take on within our families. See additional reading and resource links below for added value to your knowledge base.
Onwards, upwards, and over,
Mel Rose
Please read this March 2020 fact sheet from the National Partnership for Women and Families:
*1
BOOK SUGGESTION
Melinda Gates; Moment of Lift
USE OVERDRIVE to read for FREE with a library card! <3
*2
https://medium.com/allraise/more-women-became-vc-partners-than-ever-before-in-2019-39cc6cb86955
https://www.overdrive.com/media/4176454/the-moment-of-lift
https://builtin.com/recruiting/gender-pay-gap-statistics
https://www.payscale.com/data/gender-pay-gap
https://www.verdict.co.uk/gender-workplace-inequality/