MONEY TIP 002 - Any trauma can affect your money.

May 20

Your net worth does not and will never define your character. Similarly, the tough parts of life that you’ve endured should not be defining you, or continuing to hurt or limit you. These limiting beliefs can sabotage our lives and financial wellness, so they’re worth examining and evolving, ASAP.

[Nothing in this post is a recommendation.]

Something as small as a room full of people laughing at you as a child could plant some very deep seeds to a feeling of shame and fear that can affect your relationship with money. There is something called the Law of Resonance that Chantel Chapman taught me about on our podcast that has been helping me explore this aspect of our lives, that we all deal with. This Law of Resonance is fascinating. And it works directly with the Law of Attraction. In fact, the law of attraction cannot work without it! If something is resonating deep down in your subconscious, it will block you in ways that you might not even notice. In very real and physical ways. I think we all know that feeling. The feeling of wanting and working towards something and nothing gives. Well, maybe there is a reason. Most of our parents didn’t tell us growing up that “Everything always turns out right.” But the truth is, it does if you let it. And the bad stuff IS teaching us things we needed to learn. No matter how awful, it can serve us, if we let it. The beautiful awful truth is that if you aren’t getting something you desire and are working towards, that is physically or spiritually within our laws of science, then you probably don’t think you actually deserve that thing, whatever it may be. Likely, it is a belief system you picked up from some shitty thing you went through and are subconsciously clinging to. Well, I’m here to tell you to stop doing that, and that it is very possible to change your limiting belief systems by doing some basic energy work to remove these blocks. Let’s re-empower our attraction abilities together. Wouldn't that be fun and a good use of time?! It’s been working for me. Let’s explore this more together.

We, as humans, have come SO far. But also, we are very held back and blind to this fleeting thing called happiness or “self love”. These are very simple concepts. To go through life in a state of joy or even ecstasy, receiving the many daily blessings we do encounter, should not be so challenging. Yet for many people, we just cannot seem to hold onto a feeling of worthiness. Why? Well… it’s complicated. There are a few things at play. One is this pesky thing called existence. Or more accurately; experiences. Experiences that sucked so bad we replay them in our head for years. The things that, for a long time, we wish didn’t happen.

We all have different pillars of trauma in our lives. Chantel Chapman describes 6 of them to us on the podcast. The ones that resonated with me the most were inherited and also physical traumas. Let’s discuss inherited first. As a1st generation American from my dad’s side (he was British), and 2nd on my mother’s side (she’s Italian), I inherited a lot of “things” and belief systems that I realize now as an adult, need to be removed. PRONTO.

Firstly, the belief that you have to work yourself to death to be successful; That’s just simply not true. In fact, more and more science is showing that people who take good care of themselves, prioritize health to wealth first, and take a lighthearted attitude (my toughest challenge), actually earn more, faster, AND live longer. “A healthy body provides resources needed for being more effective in generating greater revenue and enjoying personal time.”*1

So there’s that going against me. Also, I inherited a belief system that Money defines you. What did you inherit as a limiting money belief system? For me, the reality is that my net worth does NOT and never will define my character. Having a parent who did this, was incredibly damaging to my relationship with money. It made me afraid of it, of what it would make me into, of who it could hurt in the process. I watched that same parent’s belief in good disappear when he lost all of the money. “Workaholism, the addiction to work, is often treated as a positive in today’s world. .. A new study find that workaholics are two to three times more likely to have OCD, ADHD, depression, and/or anxiety.” Essentially the workaholic’s child is caught in a contradiction. Others see you as lucky. Yet your "“luck” applies only to the material aspect of life. On the emotional levee, which is what really matters with parents, you are anyhing but lucky. .. Children from these examples are at higher risk for several psychological diagnoses themlselves.” *2. And there are now studies and workshops like The Trauma of Money that teach us that these kinds of traumas, effect our relationship to money! Almost a duh. But good to hear. Research your traumas and face those facts of how they could be affecting you. Do. The. Work. and Reap. The. Rewards!

Now, let’s look at physical trauma since it runs rampant through our society. “1 in 5 women in the United States and 1 in 71 men in the US have been raped at some time in their life”3. The numbers appear to be closer to 1 in 3 for any kind of sexual assault in North America. Now, that is just nuts. I mean, the fact that this many people suffer from sexual trauma is just unacceptable. What the hell is going on? And how do we fix it? Well, first, we have to learn that when someone violates you, it can have lasting effects, not just physically but also economically. “Physical and psychological trauma can diminish quality of life, and survivors incur significant economic costs in the immediate aftermath of an assault and across their lifespan.”*4. So what they’re telling us is to not get assaulted and if you do that is gong to cost you a LOT. So when it happens to you, you should NOT just suck it up. The reality of the matter is that most of the time when this happens there is so much fear and shame that it doesn’t go spoken about for years. Concreting limiting beliefs in our subconscious. Limiting beliefs that are attacking our happiness and affecting our bank accounts. So, time to change. First, find someone SAFE to talk to and speak up if something has happened to you. I once made the mistake of telling someone I was dating who was abusive what happened to me and it only made it work. So go to your safe place. If you have suffered a fair amount of abuse, it’s likely you’re in an abusive relationship, so please analyze that first. Then act. You have nothing to be ashamed of, clearly you are not alone (1 IN 5 for rape 1 IN 3 for sexual violations), and the sooner you get help and get comfortable with what happened to you and allow it to serve a bigger picture, the sooner you can stop limiting your life and abundance.

Now, next fascinating topic is just good old straight up Fiancial PTSD which Dr. Galen Buckwalter talks about on Goop. This $hit is so legit it actually hurts when you realize you’ve got it. “Financial PTSD is the physical, emotionally and cognitive deficits people experience when they cannot cope with either abrupt financial loss or the chronic stress of having inadequate financial resources. For long-term change in your financial status, one either has to make more money or spend less—that’s it. Taking out another credit card won’t work. But to change your earnings or your spending takes an incredible amount of self-discipline, concentration, positive self-esteem, etc., all of which are in short supply in someone with financial PTSD.” I’d go so far as to say this is hard for ANYONE with ANY kid of PTSD.

“I always encourage people with financial PTSD to first work on themselves before trying to reshape their relationship with money.” Dr. Buckwalter advises. *5

SO! Where to go from here?… Deep deep inside. It is time to uncover and release. It is time to be brave, face your experiences, self, family, friends, foes, past, present, feared future, and free yourself from anything that ever happened to you, conditioning within society, people who told or did wrongs to you, and basically just let go. You are allowed to attract. And in order to do that, you must believe that. Time to learn, identify, face the facts, be brave and then, yes, meditate. I have personally found meditation and energy work to be key to removing blocks. It has actually changed my life. I find that very few of my many neurosis are remaining, those that are are stubborn but still, I’m hopeful to remove what isn’t serving me any longer. I do attract now all that I want and it’s nothing short of a miracle to watch life open up once you’re willing to accept certain beliefs that you held as true as no longer so and to release them. I encourage the practice and if for nothing else, try it for your brain health. This fascinating scientific study Forever Young(er0: Potential age defying effects of long term meditation on gray matter atrophy states that “Our findings seem to add further support to the hypothesis that meditation is brain-protective and associated with a reduced age-related tissue decline.” *6. We mediate on my IG page every Monday at 6pm. There is power in group prayer and meditation and I urge you to join. We focus on resonance, abundance, and attraction.

The world is full of distractions. The one thing that matters is you. So this week, and all your weeks, try putting you as the focus. Spend some time with yourself, explore your traumas, try to see where maybe you’re holding onto blocks, and then work on releasing that. Pay attention to your daily thoughts. Once we make changes to the daily thought process we can start to watch our lives change. But first, we must get silent and pay attention to ourselves. I used to use the term “grind and shine.” But the reality is shine needs to come first. And now I just remove grind because life doesn’t have to be so hard. Now I like to use the term SHINE AND RISE. You need to Shine before you Rise up in your day. Rise into your financial wellness and responsibilties. Take time to love yourself, work out, put good nutrients into your temples, SHINE, and surround yourself with positive people and thoughts daily, and then Rise onto your work in the world. It’s hard to shine after the grind of daily life. But the grind is so much easier if you’ve given yourself a little shine. And it’s also so much better when you see life as a blessing and not a burden. And you do deserve this mindset. You just have to believe you do, and then put yourself first day after day. You got this!

Some fascinating continued reads for this topic are

Follow @ChantelChapman first of all because she will give you many reminders on all her pages.

https://newprairiepress.org/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1174&context=jft

https://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/trauma-destructive-financial-choices-1264.php

MEL ROSE WILD https://www.permaculture.capital

MONEY TIP 002 - Any trauma can affect your money.

“I always encourage people with financial PTSD to first work on themselves before trying to reshape their relationship with money.” Dr. Buckwalter advises. *5

Money Tip 003 - The true cheap cost of clothes is your retirement… the planet and bad style.

MONEY TIP 001 - The Gender Gap is [STILL] Real.